»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Punishing Time
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Punishing Time |
|
|
shadowmere Junior Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 11Ohio, USA |
Wrote this about 5 minutes ago on a whim.... What is the feature of every poets dream? What has constant motion, with no apparent end? There are few things infinite...this remains to be It is time my friend...and you cannot fight it For time remains a double-edged sword One edge works for you...never to be ignored However their remains the opposite side Working against you, making life diffcult Life's goal is to take this double edged sword And make one edge dull, the other edge honed When one can truly say they know "Carpe Diem" This is when bliss is found in the end. |
||
| © Copyright 2001 James M. Gill - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Hey, good job James! I really thought this was a well thought-out poem. Metaphors have a better impact when you further them like you did (life is a double-edged sword, the trick is to dull one edge and hone the other) I especially like how you said "one edge," so as not to specify which one. Very nicely done!  ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
||
|
Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
As little as I use symbolism intentionally, I do enjoy this. Not exactly how I would have done it, but who am I to trample someone, so just do your thing! as long as everyone in here just does her or his own thing, then it'll all be cool. "Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked this! Very well done. The thought put within the poem was great. A 5 minute whim my butt! haha.......VERY well done!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
that was really good well done my friend beautiful thughts thanks for the wonderful read "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
