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Teen Poetry #4
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~sugarpie313~
Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375
Maine, USA

0 posted 2001-03-09 10:51 PM


I'm just dying to be in
Let them hear my word,
I'm just dying to be in
And to have me heard.

Trust me I do have feelings
Although they may not show
But, yes, I do have feelings
And I will not let them go.

That group doesn't like me
I don't know why,
They don't see how bad I want in
And how hard I do try.

If I could just get in
And be heard by all,
If I could just get in
And stand up tall.

I'd be looked upon by many
For being strong and true,
And then I'd know I was heard
When I just wanted to say Thank-You.



*Life can take your dreams and turn them upside down, Friends will talk about you when you're not around, but don't ever lose that light in your eyes*

© Copyright 2001 Valerie - All Rights Reserved
Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
1 posted 2001-03-09 10:59 PM


Hey Val, well I'l be honest, it's not your best work, and the emotion is a little weak. But that's ok, because I'm picky with emotion in poetry. Mostly becuase my emotion dictates the writing. Anyway, it's ok, but you deserve a reply!

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
2 posted 2001-03-09 11:01 PM


Valerie, I know how hard it is to want to 'fit in'...just try to stay strong and be what YOU want to be...very well done.
Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-03-10 01:37 AM


I liked it.....I thought it was written ok but I mean.....why would you want to fit into a group that denies you that right? I mean, wouldn't you have to change a few aspects about your self being to fit in after denied the first time? Wouldn't that be horrible? To just change yourself for the sake of fitting in......
yea......well nice one here.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Angel in Flight
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381

4 posted 2001-03-10 06:01 PM


I was just about to say exactly what dopey already has. I mean if the group doesnt acknowlage your being then should your sacrifice your own disposition?
Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
5 posted 2001-03-12 09:45 AM


I have one thing to say Val....
"I hope this group is not a clique"


"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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