»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
A memory of Forgotten Dreams
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
A memory of Forgotten Dreams |
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I haven't been able to write in a while. Seems like my brain isn't working at all and at the same time it's been cramping. So I hope this most recent poem is not a failure. With that thought, please be kind in judging..... A Memory of Forgotten Dreams Angelic voice thru silence of melancholy nights Oh virgin silhouette floating on gentle breeze A sight..... Yes..... a sight that in brilliance of skies lit blue And pearls that shine..... thus greet all with subtle delight Reddened lips surrounded of passion’s untold Magnificent crown’s lost in waves of seas An essence... aromatic wonder of redolent garden blossoms What lustrous..... timeless..... flawless sheath of silk and gold These are images carved on this, a lover’s theme Still cold to your touch of sweet caress So again..... I trance wistfully into this, a gentle slumber For you my love..... are nothing but..... “a memory of forgotten dreams” "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. [This message has been edited by acire (edited 07-27-2001).] |
||
| © Copyright 2001 acire - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
*applauds* This is my first time actually seeing your work. I pounced on the chance to reply to this, as soon as I saw it.  Truly excellent! I love your style of writing, or at least what is portrayed in here. Wonderful use of pauses, the syntax in this piece was just marvelous. Having not read anything of yours, I can't really put this up against anything as good or bad as far as your ability is concerned... But after this reply, and a few more, I'm hitting the "find poems" button on you, man.  See you around. ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nicely done acire. Another wonderful poem by you. I have read better, but this was just great.....on a scale of 1-10......you get an 8.......yes.....an 8!!!!! Haha....great job on it.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
||
|
Isabelle Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 176Indiana |
This is the first time i've been privilaged to read your poetry. You have done a wonderful job just keep it up and hope to read more. "Poetry is the music of the souls, and above all, of great and feeling souls." ~Voltaire~ |
||
|
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
......Holy smokes. Yeah. I really, really liked this. I think the fact that i'm listening to Final Fantasy (World of Ruin) music added to the experience....but man oh man.....library time..... ~Carly "The eye sees a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination awake." - Leonardo da Vinci |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Hey!! World of Ruin from VI sounds like a GREAT idea for this poem! Thanks for the idea, Ca~rly!! ~Allan If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 03-09-2001).] |
||
|
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
I liked this one Acire...very powerful...and I was gentle so there!  |
||
|
HiddenSparklez Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190British Columbia, Canada |
Wow, what a great poem! The first two lines had me hooked right away, "Angelic voice thru silence of melancholy nights Oh virgin silhouette floating on gentle breeze". Full of imagery and it all flows into one powerful poem. Great job for sure! "You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"I trance wistfully into this, a gentle slumber For you my love..... are nothing but..... “a memory of forgotten dreams”" Oh my, Acire ... I really enjoyed this piece! What a lovely mood you set with these words, gentle, tranquil, peaceful ... such a wonderful flow. Very nicely done! Best wishes, /Kit |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Thanks for the kind words guys "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
||
|
DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
oh D~ wonderful poem. i almost missed it, too. Glad I didn't...pretty breath-taking actually. i cant even think of anything to say.. BUT when i read it i got that feeling of a cold breeze, ya know? lol i dont know why thats just what it made me think of. and i WONDER who this is about ??? hmm  yes you haven't posted in awhile but thats alright...me either Then I do that whole rack my brain for a poem thing and it just never works out...i have to have an inspiration or something...but i just started something new yesterday, but it's going to take me awhile..imagine that, a poem take ME awhile to write..who would have thought? But neways im rambling..i need to talk to you, too..so dont go anywhere. great job babe*dq ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
||
|
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Wow Acire, this is remarkable! Your opening lines paved the way for a truly magnificent poem. Like some of the others, I have not read any of your work...Or if I did, I can't remember. I am glad that I found this piece as it is something that should be treasured. It's heading in the direction of the library Acire. Very well done. ~AF~ "To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems!" Homer Simpson |
||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
My friend, this is wonderful! I know what it's like to write after a long time, and it's a rare person who can produce something like this after a few months!! Wonderful free-form, my friend, and a topic we can all relate to. Thanks for sharing.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I'ts great to read you, acire. This is wonderfully serene and peaceful. looking out for you Maree I may know the word but not say it I may know the truth but not face it I may hear a sound a whisper sacred and profound but turn my head indifferent. Natalie Merchant [This message has been edited by Dark Angel (edited 03-10-2001).] |
||
|
coalesce New Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 9canada |
this was a wonderful poem and VERY well written. i enjoyed it very much, and am looking forward to reading more of your work. |
||
|
Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Wow!! Dang! *jumps up and down* that was great acire! Write more often aye? Good job muchacho  Bel |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
thanks for the kind words everyone...thank you so much "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
||
|
Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
DAMN...I think I now know why you quit posting poems for so long...you were either practicing, or trying to get this one perfect Love ya, acire!!! i dont know if i should cry because its over, or smile because it happened |
||
|
sweetstuff101 Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375OK, USA |
Wow....that was awesome!! Absolutely luv it!! Geez...I haven't been here in a long time!! Well I realyl iked this one, keep writing!! Luv ALways, ~*~Priscilla~*~ How come it is so easy for a person to say "I hate you," but it is so difficult for someone to say "I love you" and really mean it???? |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Well then, my friend... You have a way of making this look easy... and you and I both know better than that... This is quite a lovely piece, indeed...  |
||
|
StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
So Sorry I'm late!!! I tried, but try as I may, I am never able to get outta bed on time!! oh wait...well nevermind, D, your work is so picturesque! My god, I've forgotten how truly beautiful it is. Your thoughts show your innerself and beauty...and I am very happy to be priveleged enough to get some insight to it. Thanks so much for sharing with us your heart! ~*~Jesilyn~*~"Tell me why you cry" |
||
|
TrueLUV Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 158Connecticut, U.S.A. |
Hands down this piece brought me closer to my own reality it was incredible. I am speechless and I dont express that much towards ones work, but I myself haven't written in awhile so I know how it feels GREAT POEM |
||
Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
You are so awesome! And you know it too! (hugs acire tightly and picks him up and swirls in a circle.) Ya know you're awesome! This rocks!! I wish people would stop telling me that I can do anything I want to. I never thought that I couldn't. Life is what happens when you're making ot |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Down Allysa, Down! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
||
|
Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
This is great acire keep it up i'd love to see more of your work SOON *hint hint* wirte more!! -=Love starts with a SMILE, grows with a KISS, and ends with a TEAR=- |
||
|
DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
you gonna tell me yet? ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I might If you promise not to tell "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
||
|
Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Wow....I am so speechless right now....this was an AMAZING piece of writing! The detail and expression was perfect. I wish I could write so passionately and brilliantly. Another masterpiece ~K~ "Don't spoons just make you smile? My friend is more of a FORK person, the butterknife makes me cry..." -Hallucinations in Blond |
||
|
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is an amazing piece. It's breathtaking. I agree with Allan in that the way you used the pauses were brilliant.. Very beautiful job, acire. This is the first time i really got to read your work, and I can't wait to read more. Wonderful job! This is another one that is going right in my library. --Marie subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart. |
||
|
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
I'm really glad that this poem got brought back up to the first page so i could get a chance to read it. this is incredibly beautiful, the wording and flow of this piece is truly marvelous, i really liked it. into the library it goes Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
|
Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
I hardly ever get to read stuff by you. This was really wonderful. Keep writing more of them!! Jenn "I've come too close to happiness, to have it swept away,don't think I can take the pain, never fall again..." Janet [This message has been edited by Jenn Cirrincione (edited 04-13-2001).] |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Sigh, still a beautiful poem Acire, this is going into my library. Maree |
||
|
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
Good God that was like wow im adding this to my library tiff  “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Thanks guys "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
||
|
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
*bump*page one this is an awesome poem.. i really liked it.. everybody needs to see this (even tho i think every1 already seen it  )..anyways, cya!! ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-30-2001).] |
||
|
stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
it's really beautiful Acire. but why didyou have me go so far back? you need to get over writers block!!! *s* Stace IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING!!! |
||
|
knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
*bump* “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
||
|
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
hahaha...awwwwwww..look at the cute little teddy bear tuna salad boy... ..kidding kidding...i really enjoyed this poem..and looks like half f pip did too.. ...Reddened lips surrounded of passion’s untold Magnificent crown’s lost in waves of seas An essence... aromatic wonder of redolent garden blossoms What lustrous..... timeless..... flawless sheath of silk and gold wow...how do you do it?..*gets a scalple and opens up acires brain*..nope nuthing in here to tell me..damn!...i loved the flow of the poem..it want to read it over and over and over again..hehehe...i love your format too..really original..and let me applude you alongside allan..*gives a one woman standing ovation*....bow graciously acire....you desreve it!....ugh..now if onlyi could have your brain.......  ...good ob on this AGPFAGP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Thanks for the compliment Cherish I'm so sorry for doubting you Kit ... please forgive me!!!! |
||
|
chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Acires, you sure have a way with vocab...I swear, you study the dictionary... lolAnd it (the poem) flowed so nicely too. I really admire you work. Over and out.-Deejay Leah (i/j) I heard a funny quote once...*scratches head* It went like this... |
||
|
DarkAngelOfTheStars Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255 |
acire i loved it! you write very well *gives you a gold star* good job!! keep it up! Dont knock on deaths door ...... ring the bell and run......he hates that [This message has been edited by DarkAngelOfTheStars (edited 06-07-2001).] |
||
|
Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Wow Acire. You write absolutely beautifully. I loved this. |
||
|
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
This was awesome work . Regina "Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay |
||
|
PiXiEpUnKeR Junior Member
since 2001-06-06
Posts 49IL, USA |
I've never read your work before! BUt I saw how many replies this poem has and when I read it, I said I have to be one of those replies! The ending it fantastic! Great work! Thanks for coming back! Keep writing! ~Dri |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Thanks for the nice words  hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Val, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Michel |
||
|
Alexia
since 2001-06-07
Posts 164Sweet And Sassy |
Acire That poem was great! I loved it. Keep on writing good poems! Your a good poetry writer! --Alexia Alcohol is the cause and solution to 98% of all lifes problems avoild a hangover always stay drunk! |
||
|
obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
wow, what can i say that hasn't been covered? this is truly beautiful. At first i was skeptical of your ellipsis, but it all seems to fit in well. Excellent work. "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
||
|
Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
AWWWW this made me cry!!  I liked it tho, it was sweet. Man, now I'm all sad!  Nice reading your work tho, bring us more! (LOL- apparently I DID already read this  but it deserves two replies anyway )Jenn "In the words of a broken heart, it's just emotion taking me over; you'll never see me fall apart, in the words of a broken heart." [This message has been edited by Jenn Cirrincione (edited 09-27-2001).] |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
