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Teen Poetry #4
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Allysa
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since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2001-03-05 04:28 PM


Go back to yesterday,
so I can live again,
so I can love again,
so I can speak again.
Go back to last year,
so I can grow again,
so I can learn again,
so I can leave again.
Rewind backwards,
fly through time,
what's gone is gone,
what's yours is mine.
Go back to tomorrow,
so I can see what will be,
so I can learn what will come,
so I can adjust to the change.
Go back to today,
so I can live my life like this,
so I can love you life this,
so you won't leave me like this.
Rewind.

(sort of sung this as I wrote it)


I wish people would stop telling me that I can do anything I want to. I never thought that I couldn't.


© Copyright 2001 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2001-03-05 04:52 PM


Looks like everybody is posting songs today. Is there something I don't know?
Anyway nicely done here. I thought this was great.
I really thought the ending was powerful....the last word.....it would sound good if the person singing it said it and it just echoed into a fade out....
wow...nice.


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
2 posted 2001-03-05 05:09 PM


Yeah, what's it with songs?
This one was great. I like songs that have this kind of a format to them (repetitions of lines with one word different, etc.)
You did a superfine job.
~Allan

Stupidity makes the world go around...and people like us laugh. ~~Elizabeth, to Allan


Allysa
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In an upside-down garden
3 posted 2001-03-06 08:04 AM


thanks u 2, ya know i love you both! I dunno what's up with songs. But they are pretty cool.

I wish people would stop telling me that I can do anything I want to. I never thought that I couldn't.


Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
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Twilight Zone
4 posted 2001-03-06 09:52 AM


i like it Allysa
but it makes me sad to see you hurting
hope things do get better for ya
keep writing
i know it helps

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Allysa
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since 1999-11-09
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In an upside-down garden
5 posted 2001-03-06 04:13 PM


not hurtin' when it comes to love. But when it comes to hate, and Jesica, I guess I'm in permanaent denial. But don't feel bad, because it's okay, because I know it won't always be like this.

I wish people would stop telling me that I can do anything I want to. I never thought that I couldn't.


Acies
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Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-03-06 07:04 PM


well I'm glad to see that you are actually taking it better than what your poem shows
good for ya

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Allysa
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since 1999-11-09
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In an upside-down garden
7 posted 2001-03-07 11:21 AM


thanks, ya know I love ya. Byes.

I wish people would stop telling me that I can do anything I want to. I never thought that I couldn't.


Acies
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Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-03-07 06:16 PM


no prob
you gonna join us on icq yet?

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Allysa
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Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
9 posted 2001-03-08 08:34 AM


alright, acire, i want to talk to you. you seem like a pretty rational person to me, so i was just wondering if you could possibly tell me why a lot of my friends seem to have a problem with the fact that i liker justin.
Acies
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Member Rara Avis
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Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
10 posted 2001-03-08 10:50 AM


i need more info than that Allysa
there could be different reasons
right now, based on the little knowledge i know about your situation,
maybe you should listen to your friends
seems like Justin is never there for you


"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

HappyPretender
Junior Member
since 2001-03-06
Posts 38
Prince George, VA
11 posted 2001-03-08 10:13 PM


Very nice poem! It explains one of my loves. Unfortunately, life has no remote, you can't rewind it.


<3~*Rachael*~<3

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