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Teen Poetry #4
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Allysa
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since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2001-03-05 08:33 AM



Talking to you on Friday,
was the best thing I could do.
There was something I needed to say,
something I had to tell you.
I'm moving away in a while,
in maybe two months, or three.
I want to know if this will affect,
anything between you and me.
You told me you got my emails,
and I wonder why you never wrote.
But you've cancled your account now,
and so I guess I'll never know.
Talking to you on Friday,
was like old times come back.
And I found some kind of courage,
that I guess I might have lacked.


this is just me being weird.

I wish people would stop telling me that I can do anything I want to. I never thought that I couldn't.


© Copyright 2001 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-03-05 08:37 AM


Hmm... forgive me for saying that the poem didn't really seem to end for me.
The flow was good, but I think the ending was left off. Maybe add a couple of lines to bring it all together?
Other than that, it was nicely done. Good job, Allysa.
~Allan

Stupidity makes the world go around...and people like us laugh. ~~Elizabeth, to Allan


Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-03-05 04:39 PM


I loved this.....great write.
Oh and allysa, yer such a sweetie. Thanks for the e-card!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
3 posted 2001-03-05 09:28 PM


hey Allysa...takes guts to do what you did
that is the right thng to do though
or else you'll never know
talk to him again and make him answer these questions you have
what's there to lose

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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