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Stepping Skill (song)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Stepping Skill (song) |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg 
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(I think I owe you all a post so... I wrote a song. It is kind of a lot of emotions I've been feeling lately. I've never really written an emotional song before. And I am really unsure about how this one turned out... I wrote it very quickly. So I'll leave it up to all of you to judge. Thanks everyone. ~Allan) Chorus: one, two, three, four, foot by foot eyes closed tightly, arms spread wide five, six, seven, foot by foot swaying softly side to side eight, nine, ten, you're almost there barefoot, small child, on the log step more quickly, if you dare risk the fall into the fog Verse 1: I'm waiting at our meeting place I am cold, my arms are bare The thick green blanket's misty face greets my presence with a glare I'm sitting in our favourite tree Nestled in its spiny hands it's almost time, where could you be? my place of rest, impatient, stands the night is cold, and I'm alone an adult in a children's stance in the wildlife, overgrown remembering into a trance It was here, to my surprise in the green, forgiving mist in the light of fireflies I was he, the boy you'd kissed then you held my hand and smiled stepped out on the bridge of wood step by step, you taught the child the stepping skill, as best you could "close your eyes and count to ten spread your arms, as though to fly heel to toe, and then again walking, soaring, on the sky" (chorus) Verse 2: I'm sitting on the treebranch high I swing my feet the playful way If you don't get here soon I'll cry Just like I did our wedding day I'm looking down, and what I see the water was much cleaner then if you were here, you'd jump with me we'd swim and laugh, we'd love again The fog decieves the sense of sight I cannot know what lies beyond I squint into the green of night and walk the log across our pond Flying swiftly, toe to heel smelling of aroma green fingers widely spread to feel ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen Further than I've gone before Halting out of haste and fear I can't advance but one step more for I can feel your presence near I break the rule and look ahead expecting to, your visage, see I cry again, because, instead, your name in stone grins back at me (chorus) [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 03-05-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Allan: This is probably the most impressive work of yours that I've read yet. You seem to have a nack for rhythm. I loved the imagery in this piece. BTW, do you know what the music of this piece sounds like? Perhaps you should go into the composing bussiness... "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" -- Magus |
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DreadedLiver Member
since 2001-01-23
Posts 56Alter, Ego |
Hmm... that was so deep and intriguing. If music was put to it Im sure it be awesome but I just cant figure it out. Dopey is gonna have to play his guitar to it and tell us  Def. of the most impressive songs Ive read lately.JR "The *bump for jeremydraul's work, hahaha!!" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Quite the song here!!!! Very impressed allan, you did an outstanding job. I thought your use of verse and chorus worked out wonderfully. You've improved, I can tell you that! I think that this is pretty great.....now what exactly is it? The song......what's the type of music and so on? Nice job here.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Hah... thanks. Well I'm into industrial music myself, (KMFDM, VNV Nation, X Marks the Pedwalk, etc) so I'd say this would have to be backed by something heavy and synthesized. However I wouldn't mind a kind of metal type sound (like Rammstein maybe). Hehe... although it will never really happen.  Thanks for your replies. Oh and DOPEY LIKED MY SONG!!!!! *~*~*throws himself a party*~*~* *ahem* Yeah. ~Allan Stupidity makes the world go around...and people like us laugh. ~~Elizabeth, to Allan [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 03-05-2001).] |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
oooo I liked the song. Very kool.Im gonna put it in my libary. You did an amzing job on this one....I've never see one of your songs. bravo! Regina |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
good job Alan maybe you should record it and send me an mp3 thru email  keep writing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. [This message has been edited by acire (edited 03-06-2001).] |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
 I don't think so, Acire. I couldn't compose the music or sing it very well...Just wrote this for the hell of it. Thanks for the replies. ~Allan Stupidity makes the world go around...and people like us laugh. ~~Elizabeth, to Allan |
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