navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » It's a private pain gone public pleasure.
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic It's a private pain gone public pleasure. Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking

0 posted 2001-03-03 10:28 AM


It's a private pain gone public pleasure.

I'm loving all this pain
i'm bathing in the hate
but i'm feeling a big strain
but I see that it's just fate
I desire her all the more
although they say it's wrong
they say that i'm a hoare
but they haven't known me long
they can't avoid the chance
to try and out me down
but i've given into romance
and in my love they'll drown
I know what I have done
and I know that I must pay
my chances may have gone
but every dog will have it's day.




© Copyright 2001 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2001-03-03 02:25 PM


Yes every dog will have its day. I really liked this one. The last line was exceptional.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
2 posted 2001-03-03 04:15 PM


Don't let anyone make you feel like you are less that they are.
Secondly, if mistakes have been done, learn from it and move on
very powerful poem if i may say

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-03-04 02:35 AM


It had a simple rhyme to it, and a good flow.
I'll second Dopey that the last line is good. And very true.
Well done.
~Allan

Stupidity makes the world go around...and people like us laugh. ~~Elizabeth, to Allan


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » It's a private pain gone public pleasure.

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary