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Teen Poetry #4
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Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2001-03-02 10:05 PM


Again it’s February and again the snow
Absorbs all colors of the sleeping planet.
And only footprints bare a patch of granite,--
The rest is white and there’s nowhere to go.

The hour and the minute hand combine
And fall in unison upon the number twelve.
I sit behind the desk, all by myself,--
My mind is blank, I can’t complete a line.

The pale moon bewitches and enchants...
I cannot focus on my verse. Instead,
I think of you. And next room, in my bed,
You are asleep, and life, again, makes sense.



© Copyright 2001 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved
Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
1 posted 2001-03-02 10:48 PM


Constructive critiques? lol, my friend you need it not! Your work captures me every time I read it. Your work dominates my library. Well anyway, I love this,een though it's March now, we're still getting snow too :-) I love snow..!!

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-03-03 12:42 PM


Ok I thought the poem was ok....not your best......but I did absolutely LOVE the last line. Thought it was amazing.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
3 posted 2001-03-03 10:47 PM


Constructive Critiques:

here is one...hope you don't get mad

I think you should take that off cause we are always amazed with your poems and have nothing to say. In other words, we are always speechless

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
4 posted 2001-03-04 01:59 AM


hmm, def. not one of ur best but quite interesting...good job bro

JR

When my life dims to a perish, it will become a quote in itself...

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