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Teen Poetry #4
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Marshalzu
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0 posted 2001-03-02 04:19 PM


Don't tell me

Don't tell me that you love me
I've heard it all before
you may think your above me
but your always wanting more
they say that I adore you
or at least that's what they thought
but it's apparant that I bore you
and I'm amazed how hard I fought
they think you are a god
but they just cannot see
it only takes a nod
and your nothing just like me
Don't tell me that you love me
I've heard it too many times
together we won't be
unlike in nursery ryhmes.

Sorry that I haven't made many comments on other poetry but I really can't comment... I just know how to write them... I think... anyway if anyone can think what ryhmes with osterich I would be really grateful...
Marshal Zu.



© Copyright 2001 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved
Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
1 posted 2001-03-02 05:45 PM


just try it and you'll get the hang of it
as of the poem, you expressed yourself well
seems like things are rough right now
hope things get better
thanks for the read
keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-03-03 12:28 PM


Hey this was REALLY great. I thought the flow was perfect. I enjoyed this one VERY VERY much.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-03-04 05:17 PM


Yes, this was quite good. The "double-rhyme" thing you pulled in a few places was magnificent.
And about replying? You might get the hang of it. There are a few people in here who never reply *coughMASTERcough* but I find that we learn a lot from replying to people's poetry. I often feel uninspired, so I read a few other poems by the good people here and it gets me back into the poetry swing.
It could be beneficial, but no pressure.
~Allan

Stupidity makes the world go around...and people like us laugh. ~~Elizabeth, to Allan


DancinQueen
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since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
4 posted 2001-03-04 10:28 PM


sometimes i cant reply either i just dont know what to say bc i cant relate in any way or the poem just doesnt move me. but this was great the flow was really good..i like the end too. keep it up

*dq


¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤

xShUgArHiGhx
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tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
5 posted 2001-03-06 02:56 PM


Wow this was a great poem!! Dont totally put aside responding to others...just give it a try and you'll get the hang of it! Your poem flowed very nicely...excellent job!
stace_co2003
Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world
6 posted 2001-05-27 05:12 PM


I love you!!!  
but then, I'm evil, so it doesn't matter.

heehee, anyway, I really liked this poem...gee, you just get better and better as I go thru the list...

*s*
Stace

I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again.

anonymous albert ?
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Posts 2979

7 posted 2001-05-27 06:39 PM


great flow...i enjoyed this read...and great job but the poems about love relate is the poems somewhat about one person...cuz i read it and i think it might work well as  seris very similar feelings...anyways...keepw riting...Zu ...?

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

~sugarpie313~
Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375
Maine, USA
8 posted 2001-05-27 07:30 PM


the rhythm was very very good here. great job i love it, i can relate.. sort of... LOL i dunno hahaha i'm not awake right now just woke up from nap *L* good job tho

Valerie

Why do you do what u do to me baby...you know if I could I'd do anything for you, please don't ignore me cause you know I adore you

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
9 posted 2001-05-27 07:51 PM


but it's apparant that I bore you..
ive always dreaded that when i go into a relationship...hahah...but this is another great one from you...loved everything about it as usual.. ..AGPFAGP????...DEFINATELY!!

"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

HeAvEnS AnGeL
Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 168
The Hot Girl From Canada
10 posted 2001-05-27 08:07 PM


You write beautiful poems,  and dont worry about replying it is hard at first but once you do it more often it will get easier.  Dont be afraid to tell people your honest opinions they will thank you for it later  

Don't judge a person untill you have walked a mile in their shoes, this way your a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
11 posted 2001-05-28 11:33 AM


LMFAO@Allans "*coughMASTERcough*" You nutter.  

Zu, the piece was pretty good. Feelings like this totally suck.

Thanks for the read.  

~AF~

Know what you want. Become your real self.
~ David Harold Fink ~

Marshalzu
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12 posted 2001-05-28 11:40 AM


For some reason all my old stuff is being dragged up... not that I am complaining... I just love being the centre of attention  
Zu

Terryloveiris_85
Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 61
The middle of nowhere
13 posted 2001-05-28 07:15 PM


*HUGS*i really liked this poem despite your feelings in it.nicce job though.
~IRIS

i'd give eternity to be by your side-goo goo dolls/City of Angels soundtrack

goodness is found in the heart, not the money.

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