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Teen Poetry #4
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fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958


0 posted 2001-03-02 04:23 AM


Watching for any mistakes
Waiting to strike from shadows

i see you, typist
innocently staring back
at the monitor

Dark host of the night
I am death, I am windows!
Strikes with shoddiness

tap furiously
clicking, clacking, poor keyboard
control, alt, delete

Another is down
Doc lost to Microsoft's Mouth
Thank Bill for dumb pranks!

the answer presents itself
just unplug the stupid thing!

© Copyright 2001 fractal007 - All Rights Reserved
keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
1 posted 2001-03-02 10:35 AM


I liked this poem. It has a really cool format. It was also quite funny. I enjoyed it
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
2 posted 2001-03-02 03:06 PM


Skip all the fixey steps...go straight to the last line...and you have my way of solving probs..hehe...this was supergreat!! Me likes it much much. Good work kids.
~Carly

"Nature is not only all that is visible to the eye--it also includes the inner pictures of the soul." ~Edvard Munch

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
3 posted 2001-03-03 12:21 PM


eh... I truely didnt like it.
The topic isnt serious enough for me...oh well nice try guys

JR

When my life dims to a perish, it will become a quote in itself...

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-03-03 12:54 PM


I didn't much like this one either, but it was a fun read. I would have expected something more serious from you two, but I am assuming that the both of you are tech freakz.....so that's cool.
nice try



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Greeneyes617
Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329
Arkansas
5 posted 2001-03-03 01:08 AM


LOL. Well that was cute. I liked it.
Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
6 posted 2001-03-03 01:46 AM


Well geez.
"Allan, should we post this?" "Sure, why the hell not?"
Hehe... yeah.
We'll do our impressive one later. Lighten up.

Stupidity makes the world go around...and people like us laugh. ~~Elizabeth, to Allan


fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

7 posted 2001-03-03 04:24 AM


Just as a response to Allan for a second before I get to the rest of you:

Allan, do you always talk about stupid people with people on ICQ? It seems that your quotes seem so often to be about stupid people being tools or clowns or some other thing, lol. Mind you, I do enjoy reading those quotes though, because I often cannot stand stupid people, especially in school....

Everyone Else:

LOL, it seems that this poem got some mixed reaction. However, I am glad to have collaborated with someone for the first time.

It was my idea to write about computer crashes, so I am at fault if people don't like the subject matter. [Bad day yesterday, let's say, lol]

Well, anyhow, I am glad that some liked this, and I am glad that others have given criticism.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-03-03 10:59 PM


You guys did a good job...

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

9 posted 2001-03-04 03:16 PM


Actually I think this was a great collaboration. I think the idea of collaborating is to get something different... unexpected. and this was certainly that. At the same time it was humorous. I don't see any fault in that. Thanks for this very enjoyable reason. I mean what would this world be like if we were serious all the time
Jason

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

10 posted 2001-03-04 05:49 PM


Thankyou all for the compliments.

IsGonna:

I'm glad you liked this. I guess teenaged life is often quite tempestuous. I am glad taht I am not a normal teenager. I seem to be reaching the end of my teenaged years without too much serious incident...



"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

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