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Teen Poetry #4
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Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA

0 posted 2001-02-27 04:12 PM


I had NO idea what I was feeling in this, but it was BAD! Enjoy, hope it helps someone, because it didn't help me much.


I cannot express myself
I know now what to say
I see the book on the shelf
And look to find my way

The first page of the book
Suicide
I don’t even look
Because it’s always first to hook

The second page
Cutting
Why endure the painful rage
When I know this is just a stage

The page that is next
Anger
Lashing out and calling hexed
Still I will be perplexed

I throw the book down
Unwilling to wait
It curiously opens
To reveal my fate

On a page of shambles and tatters
Lay the words in blood spattered
And making me read the cobble clatter
That I will never feel the same again

“Why did I try?!” I scream
It echoes back to me as if a dream
“Get used to it” the book reads on the seam
The pages are now all blank

I want to step back
To who I used to be
When I could live in solitude
Before anyone got to me

I hate being weak
I feel like I’m going to cry
How pathetic I am now
Why did I ever try

I shredded the ancient tome
Relishing its pain being greater than mine
If I can’t destroy myself
I’ll destroy anything I can find

My anger has burnt me
I can no longer move
But I still feel the pain
As if on my chest are hooves

What a sick world I think
Rewarding bigots and crushing me
But who can I fool, the world is neutral
Then I start to see



"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

© Copyright 2001 Bryan W. Holmes - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-02-27 07:44 PM


Take that, Bible!
You expressed your rage excellently.
I wrote a few angry poems myself on such a topic. Thanks for the daring post.
This poem has a very important message to it. Thanks for the read.

Welcome to Planet Earth, where the angels tread on the land. ~~Allan, to Amanda.

The sunshine hears you not. Speak to the shadows he creates.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-02-28 03:02 PM


Bah humbug.

Yes well you did express your rage well. Maybe this'll get deleted hehe.....

*a bible lands on allan's head screaming "right back at cha!"*

Ooops, allan you ok?




I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

~sugarpie313~
Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375
Maine, USA
3 posted 2001-02-28 03:13 PM


YOU KNOW I LOVE THIS! hahaha... this one is great like all the others. if this gets deleted i'd be soooooo mad. your expressing your life as a teen which is what this forum is for.

~*VALERIE*~

*Life can take your dreams and turn them upside down, Friends will talk about you when you're not around, but don't ever lose that light in your eyes*

Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669
Michigan, US
4 posted 2001-02-28 03:55 PM


I think it's intriguing how each of us inserts a part of our own lives and perceptions into a piece of poetry. Frankly, I don't know why anyone would interpret the "book" as a Bible. The first page of the Bible certainly isn't suicide, the second page isn't about cutting, and the pages are never blank.

To me, the book is a very appropriate metaphor for a society that seemingly condones suicide and cutting by romanticizing them. I congratulate the author for showing the wisdom of skipping those pages, and the insight in realizing that even such wisdom doesn't necessarily make things feel better. The act of destroying the book, in anger and retaliation, seems to coincide well with much of what we see in the world. And I particularly like the last stanza, with the suggestion that life isn't always fair, won't ever be consistently fair, and it doesn't even matter - because we make our own choices and are responsible for our own destiny.

I agree the poem has a powerful message, but more importantly, I think it has energy and power in its own right - as a poem able to express the human condition. Excellent piece!

Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
5 posted 2001-02-28 04:19 PM


For absolutely sure: I will NEVER write about the bible. Even that Haiku "Tears of Heaven..." I wriote that to express rain ok? I will NEVER write of the bible. Nor will I use the bible, and being an Atheist, I would never turn to the bible for answers, I should have cleared that up before.

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-02-28 09:30 PM


I'm just wondering what the book is, or does it symbolize seomething? You've expressed yourself well on this piece, but i'd like to get little help still. pls explain a bit...thanks

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
7 posted 2001-02-28 10:21 PM


Wow~ you got a reply from the all mighty Ron. I havent even gotten a reply from him. EXCELLENT poem..and i have no idea where allan got bible? because thats not at all what i was thinking...i thought, well actually first i was thinking Chicken Soup For The Teenage Soul lol which i know is way off..it just popped into my head. Then i thought about a past diary?? i dont know..its a mystery but it makes your poem all the better...great job

*dq


¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤



[This message has been edited by DancinQueen (edited 02-28-2001).]

Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
8 posted 2001-03-01 07:29 AM


OK, the book isn't a real book! There's nothing in publication (yet) that can be described like that. The book is a more solid form of someone's mind and/or soul during something like this. The first solution is always painful in my experience. Then the person just gives up on trying to resolve their conflicts. And the answer comes to themthen.

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
9 posted 2001-03-01 10:49 AM


Very intersting read. sounds a little like my life....well I though it experessed alot. I never thought it was the bible though..
Regina
goes in my libary

shortilove_03
Junior Member
since 2001-02-15
Posts 20
Arkansas, United States
10 posted 2001-03-01 12:42 PM


Wow,
You expressed your rage the right way. I LOVED THIS POEM. Allan, hope the bible didn't hurt you too bad



jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
11 posted 2001-03-01 06:46 PM


Oh my... this really stirred some controversial issues eh? Allan, damn man, hate to see you being wrong for once! Well that metaphor for the book was pure genius, your a very creative writer...
"“Why did I try?!” I scream
It echoes back to me as if a dream
“Get used to it” the book reads on the seam
The pages are now all blank"

JR


When life dims to a perish, my life will become a quote in itself...

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