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jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair

0 posted 2001-02-27 12:22 PM


Please dont shed tears over this. Its about coping with death, my "gf"'s dad died today...It took me about an hour to write because I broke down so many times...Enjoy.


‘Eternal Light’

There will always be that light,
Tiny in it’s form.
Even when shadows cover you,
From a teary storm.
When the night leaps into your day,
A twinkle will sustain.
Whether in your eye or amongst the sky,
That beam will remain.
This light may be a sign or feeling,
Just lingering inside.
Following you about your journey,
Never willing to hide.
It could be a smile from heaven skies,
Or maybe just me.
Either way you’ll know it’s for you,
Of this I guarantee.
Whenever your in search of some advice,
Simply turn to the light.
It will direct you the proper way,
And shimmer so bright.
Wish upon this light that guides you,
It wont ever let you down,
I would never let that happen to you,
As long as I'm around,
When you close your eyes at night,
Picture this bright gleam.
An image of me shall appear for you,
In your splendid dream.
When staring at this image of a sparkle,
Think of me tonight.
Imagine me comforting you under the stars,
Holding you so tight.
Never to let you go or fade away,
As like this light.
Forever and a day I’ll be there for you,
Never to leave your sight.
Just wish for that light to come to you,
When your in need.
I’ll come to your rescue will all my might,
Of this I plead.

Jeremy D. Raulinaitis 02/26/01




When life dims to a perish, my life will become a quote in itself...

© Copyright 2001 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved
fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

1 posted 2001-02-27 04:35 AM


Jeremy:

This was astounding!

I especially loved the elegant combination of internal rhyme and interlocking rhyme in this portion:

"
When the night leaps into your day,
A twinkle will sustain.
Whether in your eye or amongst the sky,
That beam will remain.
"

The images of this poem are quite magical.

I congradulate you on a job quite well done.


Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
2 posted 2001-02-27 06:26 AM


It's fantastic man! It's going into the library! Thanks

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
3 posted 2001-02-27 09:06 AM


Oh my god, Jd. This is really a great poem, but it's so sad. I had a friend die recently, or not so recently, September, haven't gotten over it. So sad. If you want to talk, I'm here, and I understand. ~Hugs JD really tightly~ I love you man.

I wish people would stop telling me that I can do anything I want to. I never thought that I couldn't.


anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
4 posted 2001-02-27 09:28 AM


Oh Jer...I am so sorry for you and your gf.
Indeed this is quite an emotional piece, the inspiration of it is very unfortunate though.
A truely inspirational piece for anyone coping with a death. Thankyou for such a wonderful read.

~AF~

"Love makes us poets and the approach of death should make us philosophers."
~ George Santayana

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
5 posted 2001-02-27 10:06 AM


Im sorry to see that you're going thru such an emotional time right now. It's never easy to go thru a loss of someone we know. Hang in there JD. Be strong

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
6 posted 2001-02-27 12:41 PM


Jeremy, this is an awesome piece. I'm sorry for you and your gf's loss,but a really great piece of work came out of it. It's a sad yet amazing poem,really nice.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

Greeneyes617
Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329
Arkansas
7 posted 2001-02-27 05:06 PM


That was an amazing poem. Great job. Thanks for posting this.
DreadedLiver
Member
since 2001-01-23
Posts 56
Alter, Ego
8 posted 2001-02-27 08:36 PM


thanks to all, shes taking it quite well, the 12 roses cheered her up

BUMP

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
9 posted 2001-02-27 09:59 PM


beautiful as usual Jerm Very heart-wrenching. definite tear-jerker ..keep up the great work

*dq


¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤

MysticalAngel7
Junior Member
since 2001-02-24
Posts 20

10 posted 2001-02-27 10:23 PM


Oh this was such a beautiful poem. Sadly said that I wish the inspiration came from something less painful. But, in all hang in there and time will heal all wounds. Very magical piece though. Always- Carissa

Neither the angels in heaven above,Nor the demons down under the sea,can ever dissever my soul from the soul, of the beautiful Annabel Lee -E.A.Poe

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
11 posted 2001-02-28 05:17 PM


Woah jer.......that's sad man. Very sad...My condolences to her.
Well done on the poem though.
My prayers go out to the family and friends.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

DreadedLiver
Member
since 2001-01-23
Posts 56
Alter, Ego
12 posted 2001-02-28 09:06 PM


thanks a lot everyone

BUMP


"zzzIzzzAMzzzJEREMYDRAULzzz"


jytree
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336
omaha ark usa
13 posted 2001-02-28 10:21 PM


you are the man you rock that was good and I hope that your gf will be ok soon

Lead me not into temptation,
I can find the way there mysel



Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
14 posted 2001-03-01 03:47 PM


Sorry it took so long Jer...kinda been in a daze l8ly...This was an incredibly touching poem, and shows so much pain, but so much hope...I wish you the best of luck...Smile.
~Carly

"Nature is not only all that is visible to the eye--it also includes the inner pictures of the soul." ~Edvard Munch

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
15 posted 2001-03-01 04:22 PM


I'm sorry for her loss and I hope she is doing alright with it. This poem is very well done, certainly library worthy. Jeremy, excellent job on it!

Please visit my webpage:   http://lakewalker.homestead.com/index.html  

Chel
Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511
Baltimore, MD, USA
16 posted 2001-03-01 05:18 PM


Hey there Jeremy,
I don't really know what to say. You seem to be a great friend and boyfriend all in one. This was a poem that I can relate to. A friend of mine lost her father as well, and though I didn't know him all that well, I felt as though I knew how you felt when you wrote this poem. I know that someone dear is thinking of you both. I hope you continue to write and keep up the great work.

Chel


"True friends stab you in the front"
"Never say 'I Love You' unless you mean it"


niceguy
Member
since 2000-11-13
Posts 113
Sapello, NM, USA
17 posted 2001-03-01 06:12 PM


Jeremy,

This poem was awesome...it really spoke to me. I am sorry to hear about your g/f's Dad.
I'll be praying for her, her family and you.
Hang in there man...and keep up the good work.

"Don't take love for granted...once it's gone, it hurts."

DreadedLiver
Member
since 2001-01-23
Posts 56
Alter, Ego
18 posted 2001-03-01 06:51 PM


wow wow wow
thanks to everyone for the replies...
things are getting better except for the funeral is tomorow


"zzzIzzzAMzzzJEREMYDRAULzzz"


*ChrisLover*
Junior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 46
erie, colo
19 posted 2001-03-01 07:52 PM


jeremy...
i am sorry!I wish you guys the best!just know hes left for a reason.. and a good one that is!! ok.. i am talking ot you right now , so im gonna let you go on here.. but great post.. i felt the passion!! hope you guys do ok...
love janette

Everything happens for a reason.. sometimes it's bad, but sometime it's good!! just remeber there's people out here who care!

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

20 posted 2001-03-01 08:22 PM


Wow, this is great really.....I hope things get better for all of you. Good job tho...
Bel

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