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Teen Poetry #4
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Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

0 posted 2001-02-26 09:07 PM


here u all go........here is another tribute

The binding that keeps me against the
wall will never let go, the softness
in your eyes will never appear again
ever since you left, my world has
started to crumble, since you've gone
I'm feeling pain that is ripping me
apart, my happy exterior can't mask
my pain anymore,
dont you won't to come back to me?
do u miss me up there? I want you
back here, talking to me
I can't talk to anyone, I'm too
scared to talk, I want them to listen
like you did, I don't want an empty
listener, I think I need one that cares
don't you want me to live a life
I can feel a snake bite, the poison
spreading through my body
venom stinging me and eating away at me
that's what it feels like, my body is
wasted and hollow
Why do they say what they don't mean?
can't you answer me? do you know your
ignoring me?do I need to YELL!?
I'm really in need of a friend,
I'm really in need of a shoulder to cry own
Im really in need of someone to care about me
I really want you to be here, I want a friend
who can help me get through this
Who can share conversation filled with society
and its problems, love and hate,
all that's beautiful,
I want more than just hello and good bye and
whatever the lame conversation that might be
in between, I need you
so send me someone in stead, I know your not god
i know he doesnt exist, but u do
so do something!!please
i need love.....

Regina

© Copyright 2001 Regina Levy - All Rights Reserved
jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
1 posted 2001-02-26 11:31 PM


wow...I loved everything but the cut-off of sentences at the end of a line..it was truely wonderful! be proud of it!

JR


When life dims to a perish, my life will become a quote in itself...

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
2 posted 2001-02-27 09:52 AM


Wow Regina this is really good.
This just stuck out above all the other lines in the poem:

"I can feel a snake bite, the poison
spreading through my body
venom stinging me and eating away at me
that's what it feels like, my body is
wasted and hollow"

I was just like whoa! when I read it. Well done.

~AF~


"Love makes us poets and the approach of death should make us philosophers."
~ George Santayana

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-02-27 09:39 PM


This is very powerful... it glows with emotion.
Hatred and frustration are excellent outlets for poetry. You communicated both of these magnificent emotions wonderfully.
Use of second-person made the reader feel like the poem was more personal. Had a great impact on me.
Amazing job, Regina.
~Allan

Welcome to Planet Earth, where the angels tread on the land. ~~Allan, to Amanda.

The sunshine hears you not. Speak to the shadows he creates.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-02-28 05:58 PM


I thought it was good. I'll give you love regi. I hope this isn't about brad.


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
5 posted 2001-02-28 10:59 PM


hey Ina --- seems like you just threw all your cards on the table. I do hope thing do get better for you. If you truly need a friend, i think everyone in pip is willing to listen to what you have to say. I know we're not gonna be there physically, but we are still all ears. keep that in mind

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

HiddenSparklez
Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190
British Columbia, Canada
6 posted 2001-02-28 11:07 PM


Great hook at the end... 'i need love'<-- that's what everyone feels.

"You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear

bigfuzzybear
Junior Member
since 2001-04-29
Posts 11

7 posted 2001-04-29 11:25 PM


its a great poem and i think i know who your talking to. But it still makes me cry.
love you,
brad

AngelShell
Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...
8 posted 2001-04-30 01:12 AM


Wow this was great.
I've felt the same way for a while now and it's terrible, I hate it.
But I'm not giving up.  My stubborness (sp) won't let me.

Keep up the great writing.

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
9 posted 2001-04-30 11:58 AM


Sweetie, this is good but its really sad.  It sounds like you're going through a difficult time and I truly wish you the best of luck in ur situation.  Hopefully things will improve, and I'm hoping to see some happier stuff from you.  But this was well-written and I'm glad that you at least got some good poetry out of the circumstances.  Best of luck.  

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

10 posted 2001-04-30 12:45 PM


wow...definitly powerful
i loved the emotions in here...
great job..and this is one of my favs from you...awesome...heartfelt poem..
keep writing

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
11 posted 2001-04-30 12:48 PM


Regina- Very strong poem. I enjoyed it alot! You said about everything you could in 1 poem. Very emotional. Another great one. If you need anything...
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
12 posted 2001-05-01 12:52 PM


The emotions here struck hard, Regina.  This post is beautiful.  The power in it is breath taking.. This is definitely one of the best I've read from you.  Wonderful work!

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

Linc
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
13 posted 2001-05-01 01:45 PM


Hey,

   WOW i liked it!!! GREAT JOB. Until your next poem

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

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