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Teen Poetry #4
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~sugarpie313~
Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375
Maine, USA

0 posted 2001-02-26 06:46 PM


You've stolen my heart and captured my soul,
Along with my emotions are things you control.
I have no power when you are near,
Forgetting how to speak is something I fear.
Butterflies are common trembles are too,
Next come tingles, right before the "I love you"
Glazed over eyes with that lovey-dovey look,
When you first looked at me I knew I was hooked.
Now be careful young prince you've stolen my heart,
Just let me know what you're going to do with it, before we depart.



*Life can take your dreams and turn them upside down, Friends will talk about you when you're not around, but don't ever lose that light in your eyes*

© Copyright 2001 Valerie - All Rights Reserved
LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

1 posted 2001-02-26 07:05 PM


Love is like this... it's frightening to have so little control around someone, but it can also be great!!! Best of luck!



"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
2 posted 2001-02-26 07:29 PM


I love it Val. What did you refer to it as to me? a quick scribbl? something like that. I still like it!

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
3 posted 2001-02-27 09:59 AM


whatever pops into my head when i was reading your poem?
honestly, i liked it a lot
i thought that how nice would it be for a guy to hear something like this from a girl
it would definitely melt me if someone tells me this.
thanks for sharing Val

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

HiddenSparklez
Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190
British Columbia, Canada
4 posted 2001-02-27 06:21 PM


LOL love your constructive critique msg, quite unique I do have to say. Anyway, about ur poem, very well written I thought. You wrote all the emotions you need to express. Good job! Btw, the song... from my quote, is Everything To Everyone by Everclear ~ it's the smartest song I've ever heard. Listen to the lyrics, you'll love it.

"You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-02-28 02:52 PM


Nicely done here. I thought it was a very nice write. So......yer prince.....what's he gonna decide?



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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