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Teen Poetry #4
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Angel Bee
Member
since 2001-01-30
Posts 176
Virginia

0 posted 2001-02-26 05:29 PM


Friends, and more

I see you from across the room
You smile and wave
And I do the same, but not too soon

I'm so happy to know you're there for me
Each moment with you is one I save
You've opened up so much,so many things you've helped me see

We casually walk together from class to class
as usual we talk and we laugh
And I can't help but wonder how long this will last

I know that no matter what happens, we'll always be friends
this is a comfort on my behalf
So no matter what happens, we'll be together to the very end

So, thank you so very much my friend
I know our love and friendship will never end




[This message has been edited by Angel Bee (edited 02-26-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Angel Bee - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-02-26 05:55 PM


I'll be wierdly honest in my reply, 'cause I've had too much brown sugar water.
I envisioned you for the first time as a person. There was something about this piece that stands above your others in the sense that it makes you sound very human.
Not sure exactly why...
I'd critique you in that the last two lines repeated an already used rhyme. Seemed just a bit unprofessional.
But the whole poem is something of a transition of mine in how I view you on a personal level, so it's going in my library.
-Allan


Welcome to Planet Earth, where the angels tread on the land. ~~Allan, to Amanda.

Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
2 posted 2001-02-26 07:21 PM


I love it. It's going into my library! I have a couple friends that I call really really best friends, and they're the ones this makes me think about

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-02-27 10:53 AM


I thought that this was quite sweet. Very wonderful tribute to your friend.
Maybe you should show it to her and make her day eh?



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
4 posted 2001-02-28 10:16 PM


I agree with Dopey...great tribute to a friend
Must be someone really special
hope things stay as is for ya
you seem really happy

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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