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Teen Poetry #4
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Highschool Life
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Highschool Life |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I'm gonna try and do as Allan does[single line - single idea], and incorporate it into my new format. Living in self righteousness Thinking all are fools without lives Believing I'm full of goodness Shunning stupid men and their wives Cynicism's the religion of the day Make dark what people do, shun what they say Losing confidence in myself Projecting lies onto others Thinking all are just out for self One small thing, and anger smothers Humans are savage, stupid, foolish beasts I am but a confection for their feasts Sorry if this one offended anybody. I realized that I've not been posting enough about life as a teen. This is what much of my teenaged life[well from about 14-18 years old] was like. I was very cynical. Fractal007 of the Great White North "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I mus |
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| © Copyright 2001 fractal007 - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Constructive critiques? Your sig was cut off. So was mine, so I changed it.  Other than that... hehe thanks for mentioning me in the forethought. I always bug you about that, don't I? Well it's not so much what I ~do~ as it is what I ~say.~ I get the feeling this whole poem was written just to please me.  The subject matter is such that I find myself wanting to give you a high-five. When I tried, I lowered my hand in failure, realizing that you were actually very far away. I then picked my moniter back up and proceeded to write your reply.  It was a treat to read. Flowed like Niagra, and the rhyme scheme was interesting. But be wary, the double-rhyme at the end annoys Dopey.  Talk to you later, man. -Allan Welcome to Planet Earth, where the angels tread on the land. ~~Allan, to Amanda. [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 02-26-2001).] |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I liked this one a lot, it says a lot. I have to say good reply to Allan, "flowed like Niagra," good one! Really good job on the poem "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.therainforestsite.com [This message has been edited by Lakewalker (edited 02-26-2001).] |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
Hmm, too deep for me man. Sounded very good through my mind, excellent job. High school is pretty fun right now...I guess! JR When life dims to a perish, my life will become a quote in itself... |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Sounds like much of my highschool life.......and same ages too.....14-18. Well.......I'll be 18 in 22 days.....so gimme a break here. ANyway.........nice poem, I liked it a lot.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Allan: You needn't worry, I was not doing this just to please you, lol. I just thought I'd try your idea on single line single ideas for my format. Than it kinda evolved into a description of my "era of cynicism." BTW, E-hi five accepted. Sorry, lol, couldn't resist making that up... I am glad that you related to this well, Dopey. Now I don't have to feel quite so guilty, lol, misery loves company. Lakewalked, Jeremy: Thankyou for the replies and compliments. I'm glad that hischool is working well for you, Jeremy. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" -- Magus |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
i guess you'd do good in any format you chose to use. Very good fractal. very imaginative mind too "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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HiddenSparklez Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190British Columbia, Canada |
I do gotta admit I dont get the whole poem, but it's written very well. I guess life at highschool is always different depending what school you go to. Keep writing. "You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
very interesting read...i think some of me is projected within your lines too! |
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