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Teen Poetry #4
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fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958


0 posted 2001-02-25 08:22 PM


Floating beyond the reach of men,
Soaring above those mortal coils,
Seeing simple men at their toils,
In dark skies of paper and pen
I fly and soar, high through the mind and soul,
While time and fools and folly take their tole.



"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh."

-- Magus

© Copyright 2001 fractal007 - All Rights Reserved
Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
1 posted 2001-02-25 08:55 PM


short....burt great.very intersting i liked it beaucoup.
Regina

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
2 posted 2001-02-25 10:32 PM


good way of portraying writing! very very deep and also interesting!

JR


When life dims to a perish, my life will become a quote in itself...

Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
3 posted 2001-02-27 07:27 PM


well put fractal.....Now, i can't wait for the next piece you decide to share

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
4 posted 2001-02-27 07:58 PM


Neither can I.
Fractal, you have become perhaps the poet I look up to most in these forums. I learn something after every piece of yours I read.
And this is no exception. Very well done, the shortness made the message clearer.
~Allan


Welcome to Planet Earth, where the angels tread on the land. ~~Allan, to Amanda.

The sunshine hears you not. Speak to the shadows he creates.

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

5 posted 2001-02-27 10:26 PM


Thankyou all for the compliments. This was, once again, another poem I've written while listening to music.

Allan:

I am glad that I have become that much of a mentor to you. I will try not to disappoint you, lol.

Well, anyhow, glad you all liked it.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
6 posted 2001-02-28 06:17 AM


Excellent Fractal! The rhyme scheme and rhythm worked well in this piece, and I very much enjoyed the wording and sentiments ... really well done!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Jenn Cirrincione
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Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
7 posted 2001-02-28 01:10 PM


Very pretty... I liked it.

jenn


"I'm a big, big, girl, in a big, big world, it's not a big, big thing if you leave me, but I do feel, that I will miss you much..." Emilia



Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
8 posted 2001-02-28 05:52 PM


I didn't think that this poem was up to the potencial that you have shown me in your other poems. I thought the general message was good, but I know you could have done better.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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