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Teen Poetry #4
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MysticalAngel7
Junior Member
since 2001-02-24
Posts 20


0 posted 2001-02-25 08:16 PM


Deceiving love
Careless and blind
True to my heart
My emotions unwind

Mystical Mysteries
His being and beyond
His life and his stories
Nothing can go wrong

With a curious feeling
Is there something there?
Am I the love of your life?
Do you really care?

All the answers
Hidden away
Locked behind your eyes
Released simply by day

You have qualities
From heaven above
Something draws me
To your lasting love

For your feelings
To be honest and true
I feel that one day
I could fall in love with you!

Ded. to my one true love.. Andrew


Neither the angels in heaven above,Nor the demons down under the sea,can ever dissever my soul from the soul, of the beautiful Annabel Lee -E.A.Poe

© Copyright 2001 Carissa Clark - All Rights Reserved
fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

1 posted 2001-02-25 08:29 PM


Mystical Angel:

Nice poem. The second stanza was quite well-written, especially that alliteration at the beginning of it. I liked your rhyming as well, and also the compactness of the lines.

This format of writing with single line sentences and ideas seems to be quite popular...

Jenabou
Member
since 2000-06-13
Posts 215
Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/USA
2 posted 2001-02-26 04:22 PM


this was awsome
i really liked it
it shows true emotion
keep it up!

The world is like a mirror; frown at it, and it frowns at you. Smile and it smiles, too
Be kind,for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-02-26 05:36 PM


The style you used in this piece was pure classic. For some reason, romantic poetry is more effective when kept to such a simple rhyme scheme.
If I read this in a card at the store, I'd buy the card and ~then~ think of someone to give it to.
Very well done.
-Allan


Just 'cause we have a legion of undead minions to do our bidding and rule the earth from a pair of thrones built of gold and bone doesn't make us bad

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
4 posted 2001-02-27 10:38 PM


great way to put your sentiments into writing
hope things get better for you
thanks for the read
keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-02-28 05:19 PM


Very sweet poem here.
Glad to see you happy


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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