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Teen Poetry #4
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Typical Guy
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Typical Guy |
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MysticalAngel7 Junior Member
since 2001-02-24
Posts 20 |
How can you look at me With pitty on your face You the one who broke my heart Innocently stole it and ripped it apart How can you look at me with pain in your eyess Your not the one who stays up all night Hurting and crying Wondering why didn't things go right How can you go to sleep at night When you put me through so much pain Tears and saddness will not make up Cause I know our love will neer be the same How could someone ever love you When the person they love is not real Cause as hard as you try Everything you say or do will simply be a lie. - I started to call it " Typical Guy" but a few guy friends didn't like that... so give me some ideas! * Thanks...Carissa Neither the angels in heaven above,Nor the demons down under the sea,can ever dissever my soul from the soul, of the beautiful Annabel Lee -E.A.Poe [This message has been edited by MysticalAngel7 (edited 02-25-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Carissa Clark - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
OK i liked this poem.....3 things... 1. Don't post anymore more poems for the night, the limit is 3.... 2. You should just keep the title the way you originally had it because it's your poems.....not some people who didn't like the title's poem. 3. I liked the poem and Hope to see more.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Would it still be your's with someone else's title? Assume a bit more confidence and do what you think is right. |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Well, just the fact that a poem is given a certain title can have as much meaning as the poem itself. Go ahead and call it Typical Guy, A: fact, most guys are like taht anyway! but more important is that it would give a sense of maybe a little spite. Just my opinion though. But yeah, title it wat you want, it's your expression! "Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Isn't Dopey just wonderful  I like the poem you've shown your feelings real well with regards to the title, i think it should be up to you you arote the poem, which means its your emotions, so it would also be fitting that you choose the title out of your own emotions thanks for sharing So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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MysticalAngel7 Junior Member
since 2001-02-24
Posts 20 |
Thank you for your replies. I think that being able to see what everyone else thinks of your work is one of the best features on here. As you notice... I did change the title. A title doesn't really make the poem good or bad anyways. But... as Elvenblood said... Alot of guys ARE like that. Expecially the few I have met here lately! Shapen up boys..!!! lol! Thanks again..-Always Carissa Neither the angels in heaven above,Nor the demons down under the sea,can ever dissever my soul from the soul, of the beautiful Annabel Lee -E.A.Poe [This message has been edited by MysticalAngel7 (edited 02-25-2001).] |
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