navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Undoing the goodbye" (Rengay by Allan Riverwood and Angel in Flight)
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic Undoing the goodbye" (Rengay by Allan Riverwood and Angel in Flight) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg

0 posted 2001-02-24 11:32 PM


(The good thing about having a heartfelt conversation in Rengay format is you get to post it afterwards! )


all the tears are spilled
warrior laying down his sword
after our goodbyes

please, come back to me.
let me wipe away your tears.
and let us be friends.

have I any tears?
look into my solid smile
speak to me in words

if you are happy,
I am very sorry, Sir.
for making you sad.

look into my eyes
think about what you just said
~then,~ apoligize.

crying now am I,
for I see what I have done.
one day forgive me.

crying, as it were
cease begging for forgiveness
I already have.

a tear trickles down,
seeing everything anew.
and now I thank you.

you who taught me how to love
let us fly, as one, above




[This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 02-24-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2001-02-25 01:03 AM


now this is the magic I was talking about!!!!
WOW..........I envisioned this conversation and it was amazingly written. Both of you.....bravo. Very very nice.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

sweetstuff101
Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375
OK, USA
2 posted 2001-02-25 01:17 AM


that was cool!! Lol, I luv it!! Good job on this one! Keep up the awesome work!!

Luv Always,
~*~S*W*E*E*T*S*T*U*F*F~*~


How come it is so easy for a person to say "I hate you," but it is so difficult for someone to say "I love you" and really mean it????


anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
3 posted 2001-02-25 06:59 AM


Allan, Amanda..Nice work. You two always write beautifully together. Keep it up.

~AF~

"Love makes us poets and the approach of death should make us philosophers."
~ George Santayana

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
4 posted 2001-02-25 11:01 AM


Very nicely done Allan and Amanda ... you write very well together!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
5 posted 2001-02-25 12:02 PM


im so happy! yay! it was beautiful both of u!
Regina

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
6 posted 2001-02-25 12:22 PM


Oh, this is done so well you two, so well. Another great collaboration!

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.therainforestsite.com  

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
7 posted 2001-02-25 12:51 PM


Cripes this was STUPENDOUS. I'm totally lovin it. Great job youz guyz.
~Carly

"Nature is not only all that is visible to the eye--it also includes the inner pictures of the soul." ~Edvard Munch

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
8 posted 2001-02-25 02:02 PM


Oooooooh absolutely loved the theme.. undoing the goodbye, pure brilliance...beautiful job!

JR


When life dims to a perish, my life will become a quote in itself...

Chel
Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511
Baltimore, MD, USA
9 posted 2001-02-25 03:28 PM


Beautiful poem you two. Keep up the great work.

Chel


"True friends stab you in the front"
"Never say 'I Love You' unless you mean it"


cutie2005
Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 148
Bennett, Colorado USA
10 posted 2001-02-25 03:38 PM


This was really good.. I really liked reading it... I hope to read more soon..

Luv ya,
cutie


If you love someone you would go to the end of the world for them!



Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
11 posted 2001-02-25 08:04 PM


This rengay seems to have some special meaning in it
you 2 always do a good job
keep doing it

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

12 posted 2001-02-25 08:10 PM


Allan, Angel:

You two should write a play together. This sounded a lot like a the ending of some sort of Shakespeare type tragedy, but only in senryu format. I thought it was quite brilliant!

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh."

-- Magus

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Undoing the goodbye" (Rengay by Allan Riverwood and Angel in Flight)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary