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Teen Poetry #4
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| Teen Poetry #4 |
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to Stone! |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada 
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The tears trek down my cheeks the black ribbons of unhappiness curl around my neck, squeezing the life I have away from me the hand I hold small and innocent grasps trying to pull me closer the shake of my hand can't get it to let go, the small nails dig into my palm drawing blood and love the laughter of its green soul, burning my heart, the tugging and ripping and the seams, pull me to the ground Your voice floats in the air, your laughter pulls me away from reality I try and turn and see your laughter, but I'm anchored to the ground by vines, the laughter your voice fades away, I never really did get to say goodbye, the tears run freely they won't stop, I want to be strong but I can't I need you to come and be here keep me safe and happy, show how life is great all I can do is cry and be afraid come save me!please! i need you dont let me go.... Regina |
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| © Copyright 2001 Regina Levy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
OMG, what a wonderful plea. I absolutely love this. It;s going into my library just in case I say the wrong thing at the wrong time someday! Thanks "Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
You did an excellent job on this poem. The repitition of the word "laughter" made a distinct image. It improved the message quite considerably. Excellent, Regina. "Drawing blood and love" I had a senryu that ended with this line once. Not a word of a lie! -Allan The unintelligent are merely tools for the intelligent. That would make my house a veritable toolshed. ~~Allan Riverwood |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was a nice poem......at some points i got the sense of desperation. I liked it though....hope things are well.....how's brad? hows life?  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
thank you all for your replys. allan i think i missed that senryu. javier life could be better, brad's doing amazing, were doing amazing. Elvenblood, thanks for your reply. Regina |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
wonderful showing of sentiments Ina You have amazed me with you writings lately You're definitely much improved thanks for sharing this piece So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Ina: The imagery in this poem is quite powerful. The first four lines virtually blew me away, lol. Impressive writing! |
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