»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Larkspur Haze (Collaboration with Allan Riverwood)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Larkspur Haze (Collaboration with Allan Riverwood) |
|
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI 
|
**Note** Every other stanza is done by the other poet. Happy reading. searching endless as I run battered by the fearless sun seeking my beloved one in the Larkspur Haze lips too frozen, can not scream frantic heartbeats, all a dream forest's whips shatter the seam of endurance lost pulling through the broken mist breathing deep, cannot resist thinking of the times we've kissed fear and pain allays flicker of the midnight lies shadows vanish, moonbeam sighs pray that movement be the wise grope into the frost merciless, the poison spores stinging in my open sores then into my lungs it pours snuffing out my life gaze upon the body dead with this ring, remain unwed angel wings prepare to spread now, to kiss my knife. [This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (edited 02-24-2001).] |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
Carly and Allan, amazing work both of you. Be very proud of this. It's very kool seeing poets work together....creat works of art. Regina for those who say I'm their friend, u know me not well for if u did u would not stay around anymore to watch me fall away. |
||
|
Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
I love it. Very good imagery, powerful work. Going into the library! :-) "Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK |
||
|
Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
Great work you two. I don't think that it could have been written any better. Keep up the great work. Chel "True friends stab you in the front" "Never say 'I Love You' unless you mean it" |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Yah, we are a pretty excellent collaboration. I love this piece to bits. I had fun working with you, Carly! I love collaborating. Everyone collaborate! It rules! -Allan [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 02-24-2001).] |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Great job of working together, I love when poets do that! Allan: collaborate!?! But then I probably wouldn't get my way  "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.therainforestsite.com |
||
|
Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
Totally awesome!!! hehe someone wanna collaborate with me? jk it's all good but I love every bit and piece of it definately going into my library!!! Tmd, Kristen "Let me be the one you call, if you jump I'll break your fall, lift you up and fly away with you into the night" ~Crash and Burn~ |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Child of the Stars encourages Constructive Critiques: "***I hereby declare that your act of reading this literary piece entitles you to the allowance of lacerations, suggested edits, and verbal thrashings.***" None here...It's perfect as it is At least this was finished I can't even finish ours  So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
||
|
Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
I would like to say that this piece of work is beyond words of any sort. You two work wonderfully together, and please keep working together always. The law of harvest is to reap more than you sow.Sow a habit and you reap a character.Sow a character and you reap a destiny |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought these lines rocked: "shadows vanish, moonbeam sighs pray that movement be the wise" Very very very good lines there. Wowish, in fact. Great job you two  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Thank you for all of your replies. Kristen- check your email. |
||
|
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
wow is all i can say, that was so incredible.. superb job you two JR When life dims to a perish, my life will become a quote in itself... |
||
|
IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
Wow you two really did a wonderful job. I wouldn't expect anything less though. A great mind is a beautiful thing. 2 great minds is... well BETTER. Let me see if I know each your styles or not... I say Allan wrote the odd stanzas, and Carly the Evens. Am I right? Either way great work you two Jason [This message has been edited by IsGona (edited 02-28-2001).] |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
The beauty of collaboration is in ~not~ sharing who did what.  I'll tell you on ICQ, Jason. Well I love this piece... and want a few more people to see it so up you go.  Welcome to Planet Earth, where the angels tread on the land. ~~Allan, to Amanda. The sunshine hears you not. Speak to the shadows he creates. |
||
|
fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Child of the Stars: This is quite an impressive piece, both technically and content wise. The imagery is quite stunning. I love the 7-7-7-5 syllable format, with the first three lines rhyming together. This is quite an interesting format. Great poem, give yourselves a pat on the back! "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" -- Magus |
||
|
DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
truly beautiful you two  keep it up..cant wait to read more colaborations*dq ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
