»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Before the Dawn (thankyou Chel)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Before the Dawn (thankyou Chel) |
|
|
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
If someone could think of a really good title I would be grateful seeings how I can't think of one at the moment. Untitled The balcony was smooth in the night, Beaconing the young lady to join it. She cried for what she had, And dreamt for what wasn't. Her cloak hid her from the world, In which an abusive environment was created. The dancing stars beamed across her face, Alerting her that time was quickly escaping. The horses steps were strong in the morning, Leading the young man to the unknown. Satisfying his craving for blood, That ran in thick droplets from his enemy. His eyes were wild, Hair fell over them in wisps of defiance. With each strand came the rebellion, Stemming from his inner phantom. She was the majestic queen of desires, He the slayer of mankind's malfunctions. Yearning for one another, Each breath was a stab in the heart. She was crying for his every movement, He was slipping from reality. In this world they had both created, Both were victims of their own passions. ~AF~ "Love makes us poets and the approach of death should make us philosophers." ~ George Santayana [This message has been edited by anonymousfemale (edited 02-24-2001).] |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Elizabeth Johnson - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
Let's see where do I start? Terrific poem. I loved it. A title, well how about "Before the Dawn"? I haven't really been good with helping others with titles, so its only a suggestion. It won't hurt my feelings if you don't use it. Anyway, keep up the great work. Chel "True friends stab you in the front" "Never say 'I Love You' unless you mean it" |
||
|
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
great title chel. it works well with your piece anonymousfemale. It was an amazing piece. It goes in my libary. Regina |
||
|
Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
You are very welcome. I was kind of suprised when I came back and saw the title with thank you chel beside it. It really is a beautiful poem. Chel "True friends stab you in the front" "Never say 'I Love You' unless you mean it" |
||
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
ohhhhhh...that is really good your last two poems have really amazed me very well done Lizzy keep sharing and i hope to talk to you soon  So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
The title is ok. I liked the poem for what it represented. Keep posting.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
