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Teen Poetry #4
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I've been gone way too long
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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I've been gone way too long |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC 
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It's been about a month since I've been here. Too much has been going on.Too much to say here, and more than anyone would care about. I haven't visited because the writing I have done would not be allowed to be posted. Not suicidal or anything(By the way, neither is this one)just very angry lyrics,think Eminem. Giving Up I have drowned my sorrows in too many things Not worried about tomorrow, don’t care what it brings I gave up on caring cause what did it do It led me to pain and led me back to you You, you’re the reason for my situation My stress, my tears, emotional frustration Now I’m not frustrated cause I gave up on my emotions I told you I’ve been drowning ‘em in various magic potions That’s the wrong thing to do, this much I know But I’m out of options, got nowhere else to go The problem with having a cold heart is that it doesn’t end there Carries on into the rest of my life, my school, hurting my general welfare I don’t even care about that anymore It’s my life, don’t have to settle no score How did you get so deep in my head Killing me from inside, my heart goes dead If I could tell you to leave I would have done it by now I’ve searched for the words, for the past 6 months, but I don’t know how If I don’t care long enough maybe you’ll go away But I’ll still have to wake up to this for another day When your heart goes cold, believe me you’ll know it Ask your friends cause believe you’ll show it I should have asked for help for this pain in my heart But I should have known you weren’t the one from the very start |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jon - All Rights Reserved | |||
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cutie2005 Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 148Bennett, Colorado USA |
Well, Welcome back!! This was a wonderful poem, a very nice way of expresing your self!! I like it a lot!! Keep Writing.. Luv ya, cutie If you love someone you would go to the end of the world for them! |
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Tears of Glass Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 182Physically? VA.... Mentally? I'm not quite sure |
Wow... wonderful poem! This blew me away.. it's so full of emotion and expression. AWESOME job... and welcome back. Keep em coming... *Jennifer "My nightmare isn't fearing what I dream... It's waking up, knowing what I'll see." |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Hey, welcome back keoni. I noticed a distinct lack of your work around here. Good to have you back now. Now this piece, very emotional and very strong. I love the scenario you have described with this person. I hope the pain begins to relieve itself of your body as feeling like crap isn't the best way to feel as I am sure you know. ~AF~ "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." Buddha |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Cutie2005- Thanks for the response and the warm welcome back. Tears-Thanks for your kind words, but I think this poem lacks every aspect of being wonderful,just a quick attempt but thanks. AF-Had to abbreviate the name cause I'm an idiot.Thanks for your critique,your's are always appreciated.Good to hear from you all. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
wow~tear-jerker. great poem though. and welcome back  we've missed you*dq ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Hey Jon Keoni! I remember you from wa~y back in the old days, when I was still new and amazing!  Now I'm the senior member! So obey me! haha... Seriously, great poem man! This is definitely Keoni style at its best. You write very well, and quite uniquely. Would love to rip it apart, but I would dare not disgrace your work with my feeble comments. Talk to you later, man. -Allan The unintelligent are merely tools for the intelligent. That would make my house a veritable toolshed. ~~Allan Riverwood |
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
OMG i love this!!! i think you should sell it to eminem, it would fit him perfectly. and i think we all know he has the money so make sure you take nothing less then a million dollars hehehe great job Valerie *Life can take your dreams and turn them upside down, Friends will talk about you when you're not around, but don't ever lose that light in your eyes* |
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Starr Member
since 2001-02-08
Posts 100 |
Love this so much... Feeling and wording was really good. Hope you get through this trying time and keep your chin up. Every action of our lives touches some chord that will vibrate in eternity. |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
Welcome back Jon, it's nice to see u again. Well I hope all will be well. This poem had so much power and emotion that it rocked! amazing job! Regina |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Well, welcome back Seems like you have all this anger and hate in you Keep writing about it if it helps hope you start feeling better thanks for the read So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nicely done here......Keoni, I really connected with this. I know how it feels to be cold.......Sometimes I feel like a zombie.....not even alive, just this dead person walking around with one reason to live....the sake of living. Nothing more... It's sad too....oh well. But I loved this one. GReat job!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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