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Teen Poetry #4
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sweetypie5
Member
since 2000-10-06
Posts 97
MWC,OK,USA

0 posted 2001-02-22 05:47 PM


Sry that I have been gone for so long but I have had some BIG family problems and there are some other ones going right now! But anywaze thanx for reading this and buh bye!

Who am I down deep inside?
I really want to know
Why must the real me run and hide
While the fake me gets to show?

Who I am I trying to impress?
I know it isn't me
When inside I know I could care less
About trying to improve the outside of me.

Why must I primp and curl every morning?
And only end up in tears
Just because everything isnt working
That is my biggest fear.

Why can't I let the real me shine?
Instead of the fake one glow
Everything would be just fine
If I'd let the fake me go.

(Hey thanx again!)


*~*Hope is a walking dream*~*
*~*Don't take life too seriosly~~~you'll never get out alive*~*
*~*It's hard to tell your urself to stop loving someon

© Copyright 2001 Stephanie Walker - All Rights Reserved
cutie2005
Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 148
Bennett, Colorado USA
1 posted 2001-02-22 07:03 PM


Hello, this was a Great peom, I really liked it.. And i know that I'm like that a lot!! I just don't let myself shine more then my pretend self!! Good way of writing it!!

Luv ya,
cutie


If you love someone you would go to the end of the world for them!



anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
2 posted 2001-02-22 10:04 PM


Sweetypie5, what you have written here is a good way of explaining peoples fears about themselves. What if this, what if that...

Bravo for a well written piece with a great meaning.

~AF~

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."
Buddha


sweetstuff101
Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375
OK, USA
3 posted 2001-02-23 04:06 PM


Wow....that was awesome!!! I really luv it!! You don't understand how good this is!! Even tho I think I have heard it before...I don't know. Well I hope everything gets better soon, cuz you don't deserve any of this! Great job, keep ur head up!!

Much Luv,
Priscilla


How come it is so easy for a person to say "I hate you," but it is so difficult for someone to say "I love you" and really mean it????


sweetypie5
Member
since 2000-10-06
Posts 97
MWC,OK,USA
4 posted 2001-02-23 05:20 PM


Thanx for ur replys! Hope ya enjoyed!

*~*We ignore the one's who adore us and adore the one's who ignore us*~*
*~*What's better? A truth that draws a tear? Or a lie that draws a smile?*~*

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
5 posted 2001-02-23 07:09 PM


I enjoyed a lot!
One thing that you might have done was make the "morning" and "working" rhymes more double-rhymes... oh there is a term for that... i can't quite think of it...
help me out here, someone.
but I basically mean like "drinking" and "thinking." (wow, what an oxymoron. )
You get the idea?
All in all, a nice poem! Good to see you back.
-Allan

The unintelligent are merely tools for the intelligent. That would make my house a veritable toolshed. ~~Allan Riverwood

Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
6 posted 2001-02-23 08:27 PM


Hey, this is fantastic work! I hate how people tend to hide their true selves. I always show my real self, and if people have a problem with it, they can leave me alone.

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-02-24 12:07 PM


Hey this was nice but lemme just give you a tip.........it's a famous one too......ALWAYS BE YOURSELF!


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-02-24 12:09 PM


yes, i enjoyed this a lot
such meaningful words said in this piece
hope thing easing up on you
where's Priscilla too?
you both have been gone forever

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Starr
Member
since 2001-02-08
Posts 100

9 posted 2001-02-25 03:07 AM


I love this, written well!! I never like a person who's afraid of their self. It is so stupid, I guess. Always be ur self is my motto!! Keep writing!!

Every action of our lives touches some chord that will vibrate in eternity.

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