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Teen Poetry #4
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Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2001-02-21 01:45 AM



I walked away from heaven’s gates
And flabbergasted Peter uttered:
“Why does one leave the soothing shades
Of Eden’s gardens?” and I muttered
“She isn’t here.” “How could you tell?
You’ve never went inside.” “I know it,
She isn’t here.” “Oh, go to hell!”
“Yes, I intend to, in a moment.”


Check out my poetry here:


http://www.unknownpoets.com/db/authors/master


© Copyright 2001 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved
IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

1 posted 2001-02-21 06:32 AM


Wow... she must mean alot to you. wonderful poem.
Jason


'Maybe it's stupid
Maybe it's nothing
Maybe this something... just wont go away
..
I'm not a liar
I'm not a sinner
I'm just trying... not to get thrown away'
FULL DEVIL JACKET


[This message has been edited by IsGona (edited 02-21-2001).]

TearsOfPearls
Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa
2 posted 2001-02-21 02:51 PM


This is a very interesting poem, well written, I like it

Keep well

Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice!

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

3 posted 2001-02-21 03:33 PM


This is a good little piece, couldn't help but chuckle at the last line. Most of us have one person who we would walk away from Heaven's gate for.. love or stupidity? I'll never know!



"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
4 posted 2001-02-21 03:35 PM


absolutely brilliant my friend... way to go again, im in awe

JR


When life dims to a perish, my life will become a quote in itself...

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-02-21 06:03 PM


......I am going to come over to where you live.........take a drill......and make a hole in yer head. Then suck out yer talent.
I swear!!!!!!
AHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Why can't I write like this?
Well done.....well done!!




I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

6 posted 2001-02-21 06:10 PM


Master:

Impressive. I like the off the cuff diologue in this poem. It sorta reminds me of church officials saying that somebody has gone to hell after they've died[as though they know]. This poem also presents a bit of a brave spirit as well, sorta like the ancient greek story of Orpheus.

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2001-02-22 09:45 AM


Your love is that strong???
I see evryone has given you all praises
I can't think of anything else
all i can say is yes, you are talented

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
8 posted 2001-02-22 04:47 PM


I can't believe I haven't read anything from you before. I am truly amazed. Awesome poem!
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

sweetypie5
Member
since 2000-10-06
Posts 97
MWC,OK,USA
9 posted 2001-02-22 05:50 PM


Hey this was really good!!! Keep writing!
*~LOVE~*
*~*S*T*E*P*H*A*N*I*E*~*


*~*Hope is a walking dream*~*
*~*Don't take life too seriosly~~~you'll never get out alive*~*
*~*It's hard to tell your urself to stop loving someon

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