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Teen Poetry #4
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End of the World - Graveyard
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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End of the World - Graveyard |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
It's day again now; the sun's come Back up and dust storms have resum'd. Around us are craters from some Dead war, bodies never exhum'd. A demented wire hangs overhead, All that's left of sick beasts now fed. Hear a wind howling, mourning, dead. It's a testament to the past, It calls, one by one, head by head. Memories sail to death so vast. Dust runs there, rock stands up to meet A dead sky, to cry at its feet. Night comes into life Dead rise like smoke from craters Fight again tonight Fight every night, then die Die in mourning, raise at night |
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| © Copyright 2001 fractal007 - All Rights Reserved | |||
DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
great poem. and we're doin a lil thing on fractals in my math class...just thought id share lol cause of your username. but great job on this *dq ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nicely done here frac. Not as good as the other one, but I think you are spoiling me with your wonderful poetry. Nicely done.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
love poems like this.. about the end of our existence and etc... the rhyme scheme was quite clever, you dont see it much often and its a good change, i especially like: "Dust runs there, rock stands up to meet A dead sky, to cry at its feet." JR Life is fading me away, far away, but I’m sketching myself back, line by line, mark by mark. |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Thanks, all, for the compliments. DancinQueen: That is cool that you're doing fractals. I had to convince my math teacher to talk about them during the sequence and series unit in grade 12 mathematics. I think they're quite neat. A bit of a getaway from the everyday in mathematics. Dopey: Glad you liked it. I confess, I didn't make an attempt at meter in this one. That might be why it's not as good, but I did stick to my 8 syllible line format that I did in the second half of "The Past." Jeremy: Thanks for your input on the rhyme scheme. I've always liked mesing around trying to make interesting rhyme schemes. They're kinda fun to do. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
"Night comes into life Dead rise like smoke from craters Fight again tonight Fight every night, then die Die in mourning, raise at night" Where do you come up with these? amazing So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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Tears of Glass Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 182Physically? VA.... Mentally? I'm not quite sure |
"Hear a wind howling, mourning, dead. It's a testament to the past, It calls, one by one, head by head. Memories sail to death so vast. Dust runs there, rock stands up to meet A dead sky, to cry at its feet." Wow.. awesome poem! I loved it.. *click* into my library. And I agree... these words ARE amazing. *Jennifer "My nightmare isn't fearing what I dream... It's waking up, knowing what I'll see." |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Acire: Thankyou for finding the wording to be good. I tried to include a bit of a word play[on "die in mourning" instead of morning] Tears of Glass: Thankyou for finding this to be a good one. I am glad that this worked out so well. |
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