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Teen Poetry #4
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Skyfire
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since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding

0 posted 2001-02-19 05:53 PM


I looked inside the world you showed me
And realised the illusions were fading
You couldn't understand why I was unhappy
I didn't feel like I could fly anymore
It was hard but I forced myself to look through
The fog in my mind and my heart
Our love was real for a while
Then it turned into an illusion
The unicorn left, and I was forced to see
That we weren't meant to be
Now as I look back I wonder
Why everyone but I could see it
I didn't want to believe
In what I didn't want to know
The truth came out of the shadows
You still can't accept it to be an illusion
Now I am still the sensible one
You cling to false hope
I have not lead you on; nor have I wanted to
I've moved on with my life
You've pretended to, but I know that you haven't
You need to get rid of the illusions
They're dangerous, and they'll just hurt you more
Don't take them out of context
Cherish the memories we have and
Know that the feelings I held for you were real
I still love you, I always will
You don't just forget your first love
Ending it nearly killed me, but I couldn't
Go on being someone I'm not
Dry the tears that are still falling
Remember to smile because some other girl
May be falling in love with your smile
Let me go, darling so you can let yourself go
Now that I'm not living with illusions, I'm happy
Get rid of the illusions, and you'll be happy too


*I wrote this originally when I was thinking about breaking up with Rob. We have since then parted ways, and I am in a new relationship with a new guy. Rob was my first love though, and I'll never forget him.*




"I am Canadian" - Joe
"When I find the right guy for me, I'll love him no matter what he does or what he's like"

© Copyright 2001 Rhonda Adolph - All Rights Reserved
Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
1 posted 2001-02-19 07:20 PM


very great poem. i have no critism. everything was pretty cool.good job.
Regina

for those who say I'm their friend, u know me not well for if u did u would not stay around anymore to watch me fall away.

HiddenSparklez
Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190
British Columbia, Canada
2 posted 2001-02-19 07:41 PM


Great poem... it's always good to look back on past relationships I think, cuz then you remember all the good stuff.

"You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-02-19 10:24 PM


I've only had one relationship.....Nice poem though. Good luck with the current guy.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
4 posted 2001-02-20 01:09 PM


this is a very beautiful poem
i think youve expressed your feelings really good on this one
the only thing is i thought you used the word "illusions" too much. Maybe noarrow it down a bit.
all in all, i love its emotional content
thanks for sharing

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
5 posted 2001-02-20 01:25 PM


Never been in love... never really had a real girlfriend, but im sure these feelings are very special to you and you should cherish them forever even tho hes in the past, nice poem...it was quite lovely

JR


Life is fading me away, far away, but I’m sketching myself back, line by line, mark by mark.

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