Life - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Wheelsgirl
Junior Member

since 2001-02-09

Posts 21
MA, USA

0 posted 2001-02-17 10:38 PM

Life

And I may not be fun,
At least not until my work is done.

Sometimes I'm sad or maybe mad,
Some of my days are not always bad.

So let this be a lesson to be known,
someone should treat lifelike the final days and not grown.

Life is something that keeps going going like the Energizer Bunny,
That's why during a lifetime you must look for that someone that you
would love call your honey.

Elvenblood
Member

since 2001-02-17

Posts 409
Maine, USA

1 posted 2001-02-17 10:58 PM

Hahaha, very appropriate to the time of year! I so love that! I know too many girls who have been hurt in searching for love, and they'd love this. Thank you :-)

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

StratMatt
Member

since 1999-09-19

Posts 87
Macomb, IL, U.S.A.

2 posted 2001-02-17 11:05 PM

Nice poem. Although I think when you said the word "grown" in the 7th line, you meant "groan," otherwise that line doesn't really seem to make sense.

I would have to stay that I do like the thought behind the poem, but if you're trying to write traditional stuctured poetry, which is what this looks somewhat like, staying in a particular meter might make it flow a little easier.

Just my thoughts, nice work though, I look forward to reading more

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-02-18 12:03 PM

I agree completely with you. Gotta find a honey!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Angel in Flight
Member

since 2001-01-07

Posts 381

4 posted 2001-02-18 05:45 PM

lol I love this poem it is great. Keep posting and sharing with us all.

The law of harvest is to reap more than you sow.Sow a habit and you reap a character.Sow a character and you reap a destiny

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

5 posted 2001-02-18 10:50 PM

ive been trying to look for my honey, but it seems like it'll never happen

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.