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Teen Poetry #4
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Love_is_Pain
Junior Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 16


0 posted 2001-02-17 04:22 PM


It's been one day,
Since you've gone.

The feelings i had,
Have not gone,
But are growing,
Still from the days beyond.

The thoughts I have,
Where of smiles,
and laughs,
But have not gone,
Even though u have.

It's hard to write this,
All out of rhymes,
With a broken heart,
I know I did my part,
But the feelings you had,
Weren't the same as mine,
It was for your ex,
Yes he has won,
And that was your excuse,
And Now Your Gone.

Rick

© Copyright 2001 Love_is_Pain - All Rights Reserved
Angel in Flight
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381

1 posted 2001-02-17 06:29 PM


Wonderful First Post and WELCOME TO THE FAMILY!!!!! I am very happy you have decided to join us here at passions.

Life is like a storm, it passes you by without even knowing it~Amanda

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
2 posted 2001-02-17 06:51 PM


WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!

it's good to see you've decided to join our family of friends here in Passions for Poetry. I hope you feel at home and enjoy your stay. Happy posting and reading.

ps. pls check you email

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-02-18 11:48 AM


Welcome to passions!
Very sad poem you got here.....heart broken.
Well I'd like to see you post more......but maybe some happy ones eh?



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
4 posted 2001-02-18 12:28 PM


Lovely poem. The way you begun really led me into the whole poem. Kind of like dating the poem, but using the date of her leaving as a unit of measurement of time. It also puts the facts right forward for the reader, so they can see exactly what happened before you display your emotions. Kind of like "this is what happened" simply, followed by "this is what happened" in complexity.
Welcome to Passions. Your manner of writing is interesting. I'll keep reading from you.
-Allan

When the sun dies, and the earth is thrown off its axis, the two of us will still, at that moment, be thinking of one another. ~~Allan, to Amanda

Love_is_Pain
Junior Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 16

5 posted 2001-02-18 01:13 PM


Thanx everyone, I am kinda new to this...I haven't wrote poetry since i was 13, like 3 yrs. ago...i am hoping i get better...thanx for the opinions

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
6 posted 2001-02-18 02:48 PM


Welcome to Passions
I hope you like it here and post more for us to read! Good job on your first post


"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.therainforestsite.com

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