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Teen Poetry #4
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Angel in Flight
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381


0 posted 2001-02-16 09:59 PM


I saunter unhindered through the shadows, as malignity swells up inside.
My eyes are wide shut yet.... the rage will not hide.
The forest of iniquity, clutches my breath.
I ultimately grasp..... I’m in the lost woods of death!!!
I rampage though the leaves to attempt to get out.
I am plundering through my distinctive perturbation of doubt.
The ebony ink commences to devour my soul...
My spirit was seized......and I.. just let it go.
I collapsed to the dust from the feebleness of my treacherous plight.
The trees covered my reamins and I no longer had the STAMINA..... the WILL POWER.....or the HEART.. to finish my fight.
I realized something as one solitary tear shattered the ground,
And that mystical and vaporous night I had found;
I was not ever in the lost woods of death......
But rather...........
Trapped within my own horrendous stone walls of flesh.



Life is like a storm, it passes you by without even knowing it~Amanda

© Copyright 2001 Amanda - All Rights Reserved
jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
1 posted 2001-02-16 11:28 PM


quite odd style... good poem tho, keep posting

Jeremy


Life is fading me away, far away, but I’m sketching myself back, line by line, mark by mark.

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
2 posted 2001-02-17 01:22 PM


"I was not ever in the lost woods of death......
But rather...........
Trapped within my own horrendous stone walls of flesh."

OMG!!! This is beautiful
hope you don't really feel this way


So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Tears of Glass
Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 182
Physically? VA.... Mentally? I'm not quite sure
3 posted 2001-02-17 01:38 PM


Awesome poem.. I liked the style, it's different. Great expression.

*Jennifer

"My nightmare isn't fearing what I dream... It's waking up, knowing what I'll see."

Greeneyes617
Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329
Arkansas
4 posted 2001-02-17 02:24 PM


This is really cool. I like it.
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
5 posted 2001-02-17 04:56 PM


Hi. acire sent me the link to this poem because he knew I was on the lookout for poetry with a 'nature' theme or analogy. I'd like to ask your permission to use this in the next newsletter for Passions if you don't mind. Just reply here (I'm putting this in my library) or send me an email. (and would you mind if we reformatted it for affect? Thanks.
Angel in Flight
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381

6 posted 2001-02-17 06:58 PM


Poet deVine,

It would be a tremendous honor if you would be kind enough to put my work in
passions next newsletter.Also, if you wish to reformat it for whatever reasons you may do so. Thank you.


Life is like a storm, it passes you by without even knowing it~Amanda

Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
7 posted 2001-02-17 08:58 PM


WOW - all I have to say, WOW! That is so fantastic. It describes, I think, what all of us feel at some point.

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Angel in Flight
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381

8 posted 2001-02-17 10:03 PM


Jeremy & Jennifer~ Yes, I like to try different styles. THank you for your replies.

Acrie~ No, I do not feel this way and I am sorry if I made anyone think I did. THank you for your relpy.

Greeneyes~ Thank you for your reply

Elvenblood~ Thank you so much for your reply It is wonderful to hear you like it so much and I truthfully Appreciate it very much.

love always~ Amanda


Life is like a storm, it passes you by without even knowing it~Amanda

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
9 posted 2001-02-18 11:23 AM


Very good job on this one. I truly enjoyed this read. I thought this was exceptional!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

StratMatt
Member
since 1999-09-19
Posts 87
Macomb, IL, U.S.A.
10 posted 2001-02-18 02:14 PM


This is an exceptional piece. One of those pieces I encounter every now and again that makes me feel very amateur.
The use of punctuation to pause on keywords was very well used.
Also, very impressive use of vocabulary. Go any further with the vocab and I'm gonna have to start busting out my dictionary.


orange()alligator
Junior Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 21

11 posted 2001-02-26 08:44 PM


i have one thing to say....WOW!!!
DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
12 posted 2001-02-26 11:25 PM


wow~ im speechless. your poems are so..oh i cant even come up with an intelligent word. i feel so stupid when i read your poems. i dont reply much cause i cant ever think of anything intelligent to say. but this was great as always

*dq


¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤

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