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Teen Poetry #4
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Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana

0 posted 2001-02-16 03:12 PM


Remind me of moons
and milk and honey
Pour it over me,
preserve some purity
and we find
even hearts of stone
can crack open wide
In the shadows
of the cave
can you see stars?
They remind us that
we can go so very far
And in my endless gaze
without a blink,
you must remember that I
wouldn't change a thing


and in the end
we still pretend
the time we spend
not knowing when
we're finally free
and you could be
-NIN "The Wretched"

Angel of Darkness

© Copyright 2001 Morgana - All Rights Reserved
fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

1 posted 2001-02-16 04:13 PM


Impressive. I didn't really get much of a negetive vibe from this poem. In fact, it sounded a little more magical to me, like something from a medieval fantasy type story. However, the ending helped to convey a grounding truth. Impressive writing. Thankyou for sharing.
Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
2 posted 2001-02-16 05:14 PM


ohhhhh, i like this a lot
i agree, it's actually enchanting
great work
keep sharing

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-02-16 10:44 PM


Another masterpiece! I like your style. Short lines, with great meaning.
Very well done!
-Allan

When the sun dies, and the earth is thrown off its axis, the two of us will still, at that moment, be thinking of one another. ~~Allan, to Amanda

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
4 posted 2001-02-16 11:29 PM


true that... short lines really portray nicely.. good job

jeremy


Life is fading me away, far away, but I’m sketching myself back, line by line, mark by mark.

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
5 posted 2001-02-16 11:51 PM


Wondrous imagery...I followed this very well...its great when you come to the point where you realize you wouldn't change a thing...unique way of showing that, I really enjoyed this!

*Krista Knutson*

I'm a slow dying flower
In a frost-killing hour
The sweet turning sour and untouchable...
-Natalie Merchant

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-02-18 01:35 AM


Oh this is just wowness........amazing piece here......freaking amazing!!!!!
I loved it.....my fav from you yet!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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