navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Changing Skin
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic Changing Skin Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
anomaly187
Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284
San Francisco,CA,US

0 posted 2001-02-15 09:51 PM



When i meet you in another dream
you can strip yourself
and close your eyes
to find
some other way to see me
to taste me
and to feel me
i will bring it down

in all the minds of passerby's
i change my skin
and change my form
what you will see
is dead but here
i hide my face
to hide my fear

my mouth is sewed with piercing words
don't talk or shout
or stare at me
i will come back
and take revenge
and burn you all
until your ends

the armor here protects my skin
and doesn't let the insects in
picking and peeling and eating away
i can feel it coming(inside me)
i can feel it's mouth
and i can feel it intimately
while it is
raping me

Don't wait to see
if i am broken
as i blend into the background
desperately seeking
what can't be found
i cannot hide
but my mouth is forced open
so that i can speak and act..
as i am lying you can take me for a ride

i haven't posted in a couple of weeks because i have hit some serious writers block..and even this is not that good




"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro"



© Copyright 2001 Alexei - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-02-15 09:55 PM


To be honest, I enjoyed it.
And advice for writer's block? I'm going to say it again! ~FORMATS~ Use them! Try new ones!
This wasn't too bad, you know. Quite descriptive.
Best of luck overcoming your problems.

When the sun dies, and the earth is thrown off its axis, the two of us will still, at that moment, be thinking of one another. ~~Allan, to Amanda

LucidityNow
Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 118
Canada
2 posted 2001-02-16 12:07 PM


I thought this poem was very interesting. I kept picturing a person with there mouth sewn shut. Nice work.

and i'm certain that if i drive into those trees, it would make less of a mess, than she's made of me...

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-02-16 01:59 PM


Well anomaly....allan said formats...bla....dif people do it dif ways.....but regardless of that, this IS a different format and style from your usual. Very well done on this piece.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana
4 posted 2001-02-16 02:49 PM


Well I've never read any of your other poems, but I'm going to start. This one was great. It had my interest from the very beginning to the very end. Lovin' it.

and in the end
we still pretend
the time we spend
not knowing when
we're finally free
and you could be
-NIN "The Wretched"

Angel of Darkness

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
5 posted 2001-02-16 03:12 PM


Allo there. Once again, your poetry takes me to the rotten corners of the mind...enchanting me with words and phrases...Nice to read ya again, anomaly.
~Carly


"Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy." (Nora Ephron)

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-02-17 02:29 AM


I hate following Carly's replies
How can I even come close to the things she says
anyways, i enjoyed reading the poem
keep sharing

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
7 posted 2001-02-17 10:09 AM


kinda of an animal action in this poem, it was very grotesque, but i love that stuff, especially:
"i will come back
and take revenge
and burn you all
until your ends"
nice job dude, keep posting

Jeremy


Life is fading me away, far away, but I’m sketching myself back, line by line, mark by mark.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Changing Skin

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary