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Jeremy's Haiku Challenge- "Reaching Up" and "The Fence"
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Jeremy's Haiku Challenge- "Reaching Up" and "The Fence" |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people 
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Jeremy, here's my response to your challenge. I like the second one more, but I put the first one in too so it doesn't feel left out. You know how those poems get  !Reaching Up up against the dark leaves of red lay to and fro growing to the sun The Fence bursting red blazes brilliant are these leaves of mine up against the fence Lakewalker February 14, 2001 "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com [This message has been edited by Lakewalker (edited 02-14-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Lakewalker - All Rights Reserved | |||
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
the only suggestion i have is for you to put at least a space between the poem itself and the title  all in all, very good job Lake So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
You did two? ~falls over~ Geez... hehe... You did a good job on both. For some reason, it seemed lazy to simply pluralize "blaze" to get that extra syllable. Just my opinion. Well met to the challenge. Lakewalker, I salute you. -Allan When the sun dies, and the earth is thrown off its axis, the two of us will still, at that moment, be thinking of one another. ~~Allan, to Amanda |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
acire- there, I edited in some space  allan- haha, I like that "falls over"  I wanted it to be plural actually, so I'm gonna leave it. Get it, leave, like, the leaves on the photo. Ok, sorry, I won't ever make a joke like that again. Thanks for the great comments "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
These are wonderful haikus. I love how you see things. Challenge well met!  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I love you lake....... nice job here on these TWO haiku's  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
hah! i got lake to post, muwahahahahahahaha n nice job! Jeremy Life is fading me away, far away, but I’m sketching myself back, line by line, mark by mark. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
LoveBug- Thank you for the reply, I generally love how I see things too Dopey- Thank you too, but um, hold back on that love, ok? jeremy- Geez, I fell for your evil plan  That's ok though I guess, and thanks for saying they're nice "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I like these very much! May we use them in the next newsletter? Please reply here or send me an email. Thanks! |
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