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Teen Poetry #4
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Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg

0 posted 2001-02-14 05:20 PM


In the chambers of the species
laying dormant in a garden
of the flowers in the feces
and the tears upon the floor

In the winter, he arises
shaking off the dust of slumber
whilst the summer comprimises
with its hand upon the door

Without care, his fingers frosting
touching plumage in the treetops
How exciting, how exhausting
Nonetheless he doesn't care

Running back towards a binding
leaving winter to its parent
Chains of sunshine not reminding
that the sun was never there

Not disgruntled, growing older
gazing out into the summer
Dreaming days of daylight colder
as a love provides him pain

He shall dwell within the flowers
whilst his rival kills his lover
dripping tears that fall for hours
to a steady, cold refrain


© Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved
Angel in Flight
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381

1 posted 2001-02-14 08:48 PM


....Allan, I must say this poem truly made me cry. You have a LOT of deep thoughts and emotions in this one. Well done.. and hopefully all is well, and if not then I am here to make all well again. Love always~ And good luck with all that comes your way today and everyday in your future. You are strong and now is the time to show it.

Life is like a storm, it passes you by without even knowing it~Amanda

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
2 posted 2001-02-14 09:21 PM


honestly, i'm a little lost
need help on this one
pls explain
thanks

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Greeneyes617
Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329
Arkansas
3 posted 2001-02-15 12:36 PM


Great poem. I always enjoy reading your writting. You always amaze me. Kudos.
Allysa
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since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
4 posted 2001-02-15 08:14 AM


Great poem Allan, I'm a little lost though, but I like it none the same.
Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-02-15 07:18 PM


Very very nice job on this one. I especially loved the scheme in the ryhme......very nice. It flowed wonderfully allan. Uhhhh....the meaning of the poem.....i got the general part of it.....didn't much try to delve within symbols....but very very nice job nonetheless.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

6 posted 2001-02-16 04:20 PM


Allan:

The imagery in this poem is magnificant. The story told is beautifully interwoven with powerful imagery. Great work!

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
7 posted 2001-02-16 04:31 PM


Holy perfect flow, Batman! This one was great Allan, thanks for sharing it with us.

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
  http://www.thehungersite.com

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