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LucidityNow
Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 118
Canada

0 posted 2001-02-14 02:21 AM


Hey Jeremy, that picture really gave me alot of ideas. So here goes...



Lonley, Shivering
Although with your great beauty
You do not belong


and i'm certain that if i drive into those trees, it would make less of a mess, than she's made of me...

[This message has been edited by LucidityNow (edited 02-14-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Jesse Wintonyk - All Rights Reserved
LoveBug
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since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

1 posted 2001-02-14 05:11 PM


Certainly a different way of looking at things. Challenge well met!



"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
2 posted 2001-02-14 05:17 PM


There are a lot of ideas that can come into one's mind from a single image, and you've penned this one well. Great job !

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
  http://www.thehungersite.com

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
3 posted 2001-02-14 05:50 PM


good job...you did well

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
4 posted 2001-02-14 05:53 PM


yeah, I'll ditto Acire.
It's good to see you used words with multiple syllables. It is difficult to make a decent senryu/haiku utilizing multi-syll words proficiently enough.
-Allan

When the sun dies, and the earth is thrown off its axis, the two of us will still, at that moment, be thinking of one another. ~~Allan, to Amanda

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-02-14 09:23 PM


Nice one here.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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