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Teen Poetry #4
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Around the Block
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Around the Block |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people 
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For those of you who thought my last poem was cut off at the ending, this one may be too. I was inspired to write this one when I saw an old box of baseball cards on my record player. Yes, I said record player  Wait, am I posting a poem that has meaning to me?!? Oh no! I hope you like it, but do tell me what you think should be changed Around the Block Baseball Fleer 91's on my phono, this room's so full of memories, you know, I remember the beach, swimming each day, my picture book brings emotions that way, canoeing on the Pentwater River, call Mom for bee stings, scratches, and slivers, race on bikes: Third Street and around the block, Capture the Flag for hours off the clock, winter snowball fights and caves in the snow, ...now what about the moments I don't know? Lakewalker February 11, 2001 "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com [This message has been edited by Lakewalker (edited 02-15-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Lakewalker - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
i like it. very good imagery. you really could see the room and everything inside it. the flow of the poem was very good. Amazing post. Regina for those who say I'm their friend, u know me not well for if u did u would not stay around anymore to watch me fall away. |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
that was wicked cool... "wicked cool" lol. Nice job bro... i loved it. Your specifications were wonderful.. and the detail was great! keep it up Jeremy "Life is fading me away, far away, but I’m sketching myself back, line by line, mark by mark." - Jeremy Raulinaitis---'Fading Me Away' |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked this very much. Very serene mood to it for some reason, i dont know.....that's the mood I got. Just relishing upon past memories and wondering about those you don't remember.......maybe you just didn't want to.....maybe they sucked. nice to see you posting  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
No... the trailing off at the end draws the reader into a state of thought. Thanks a lot, I just got back from school and you make me think ~again?~ Just kidding... hehe... it was a great poem at the end. It started off a little slow, but hey, altogether it works. -Allan When the sun dies, and the earth is thrown off its axis, the two of us will still, at that moment, be thinking of one another. ~~Allan, to Amanda |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
This is really good Lake i like poems that talk about memories specially ones triggered by something so simple beautiful poem lake by the way -- just say the record player in cause you're a club DJ, and you have to practice at home  So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Memories always add flavor to life, but it is sad to think of the ones that you don't remember. Very thought-provoking and very well done! Thanks for sharing!  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I just have to say, I extremly appreciate your replies, they were wonderful "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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