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Teen Poetry #4
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The Kiss
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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The Kiss |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada 
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Im back everyone. Ive been in the hospital. Im posting this poem and then I have lots of replying to do. (cough, cough). btw this poem is tres sucky. Allan, I know..i should try a rythme scheme...i will. sorry you all for the sucky poem. The Kiss Rich brown hair filtered with sunlight nibble, nibble on your ear, my arms wrapped around your neck our bodies entwined on the sand The longing in your hazel eyes makes my heart skip a beat your tanned chest slick in the sun shelters me from the world Placing soft feather-light kisses all across the span of your muscle The grating feel of the hair on your arms across my naked back My eyes glazed over with desire and love, in my mind I can't figure out what i'm doing He whispers in my ear, "don't be afraid" Shattering all my doubts with his soft, crooning voice My hands resting on the small of your back they can't stay still anymore letting them wander around your hard body puts a grin across my face Rumble of laughter explodes in your chest I turn into the rumbling, smiling A mischeivous glint in your eyes take form You place a kiss on my mouth, the world falls away and its only you and me "yum...you taste good" "just like strawberries" I hear your husky voice through my muddled thoughts, I don't know the words all I know is the beat of your heart and the sound of your voice The laughter slowly fades away as my mother yells to wake me up All I can think about are your hands, your lips,your smiles,your hard body and your loving words. Regina for those who say I'm their friend, u know me not well for if u did u would not stay around anymore to watch me fall away. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Regina Levy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Non, c'est tres bien.  "No, this is very good." I'm glad to see you back. I am no one if not myself. Angel of Darkness |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought this was pretty ok regi, not as good as some but still better than most.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
Welcome back :-) I kina chuckled at ""yum...you taste good" "just like strawberries" hehe.. nice little post Jeremy "Life is fading me away, far away, but I’m sketching myself back, line by line, mark by mark." - Jeremy Raulinaitis---'Fading Me Away' |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
Wow I have managed to make this depressing in my own little head. But hey this is valentine's day. I'm gunna be happy weather I like it or not!! Anyway great post. The attention paid to detail was awesome. That was in no way 'sucky' keep it up! >¶Øʆ< |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
thank you all for your replies. happy valentines day! Regina for those who say I'm their friend, u know me not well for if u did u would not stay around anymore to watch me fall away. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I got caught up into this one It had my attention so tight, I love that. I didn't see anything wrong with the poem because I was too caught up in the moment, you really brought me into this scene well, nice descriptions "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
What... ~me?~ Why did you pinpoint me especially? I feel special. That's ~one~ way to induce a reply, I suppose. x_x This was good, but yes a rhyme scheme would improve the flow and perhaps allow you to be a bit more creative. Hope you are feeling better now, hon. -Allan When the sun dies, and the earth is thrown off its axis, the two of us will still, at that moment, be thinking of one another. ~~Allan, to Amanda [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 02-15-2001).] |
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