»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Primal Beat (written a while ago, but I felt like revisiting)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Primal Beat (written a while ago, but I felt like revisiting) |
|
|
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments 
|
Earthen, primal beat pounding against smoky shadows that curl softly upon dark, metallic walls. Sweat sparkles upon curves of hypnotic skin as limbs move faster almost flying through swells of endless rhythm. Lucid strands of silver-purple haze tie lazy bows through the air while the music howls from swells of soulful darkness. And the sound rages on... Raw, starkly vivid emotion throbs almost psychotically through my spirit and I know that I’m helpless to control myself as long as the primal beat commands. |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Krista Botterill - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Wow... a Moderator graces us with a post. ^_^ I love how you glorified the dance and music by making it seem primitive... This is a great poem. "Earthen, primal beat pounding against smoky shadows that curl softly upon dark, metallic walls." This stanza just drew me into the whole thing... a great way to commence... Earthen is a great word! ^_^ You used a lot of adjectives in this poem, (something i don't do enough myself) and it made the vision seem much more real to me. I could picture what you were describing quite opaquely. Becoming helpless to music... I know that I often do this myself. Lovely poem! Thanks for sharing it with us. -Allan When the sun dies, and the earth is thrown off its axis, the two of us will still, at that moment, be thinking of one another. ~~Allan, to Amanda |
||
|
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
Allan, being an egotistical person  jk, destroyed every post that comes forth because he said everything that needed to be said and more. But, this poem was so descriptive and it leaves a lot of words floating in my mind, glad to see you posted it! Thanks for the read.Jeremy "Life is fading me away, far away, but I’m sketching myself back, line by line, mark by mark." - Jeremy Raulinaitis---'Fading Me Away' |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was quite detailed, but I have read better from you. Nicely done though....  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
haven't seen you in a while  As JD has stated, pretty hard to follow AR's reply I'm just glad that Child_of_Star(carly) hasen't replied yet. That'll make it even harder to follow thanks for the read keep sharing more So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
"Raw, starkly vivid emotion throbs almost psychotically through my spirit" Excellent wording, I loved that part. Thank you for sharing this, and to end my post, I'd like to say go read everyone else's again (that way my post includes them all, so mine must be the best haha, jk). nice job on this poem."Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
||
|
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Thank you all for your kind words, I truly appreciate it. I had the chance to go dancing this weekend and the feeling overtook me once again, so I felt like coming back to this poem..it explains well how I feel about music...anyways, thanks for reading everyone!  *Krista Knutson* I'm a slow dying flower In a frost-killing hour The sweet turning sour and untouchable... -Natalie Merchant |
||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Krista, this is a beautiful way of discribing the power that music has. I never thought of it that way until I read your reply. Beautiful, nonetheless. Thanks for sharing.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
