navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Broken Valenetine
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic Broken Valenetine Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
jytree
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336
omaha ark usa

0 posted 2001-02-12 01:48 AM



Trouting through endless feilds,
With a shelid of faith and a sword of courage in which I weild,
Trotting through this endless miss,
Looking upon this stars as I get my rest,
Was I a good man when I die,
Was I a honest man in which couldn't lie,
Was I a gentleman in the eyes of few,
Why was I this things yet,
Why couldn't I say I love you,

To feel the words one my lips,
To feel them come to life with every new kiss,
To feel them dance while you look into my eyes,
To feel nothing as our loved died,

For what was this curse that feel upon me,
For all I wanted was just to be,
Lying in the arm of that one to be,
The one meant that is just for me,

Until that day I will sit and fuss,
As my heart returns from this muck,
It didn't help to say goodbye,
Just the same reaction,
It's time to cry



Lead me not into temptation,
I can find the way there mysel



© Copyright 2001 Michael Jay vaughn - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-02-12 01:26 PM


Beautiful!  *applauds*
I absolutely love the metaphors and description you used of your situation.  Very lovely!
Thanks for a great read, jytree.  Keep up the excellent work.
-Allan

When the sun dies, and the earth is thrown off its axis, the two of us will still, at that moment, be thinking of one another. ~~Allan, to Amanda

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
2 posted 2001-02-12 02:44 PM


nice work... out of FULL concern, type your poems in WORD and use spellcheck so that your message comes across more clear.. Im not trying to badger you, its just something to consider... very good peom bro, keep it up!

Jeremy


"Life is fading me away, far away, but I’m sketching myself back, line by line, mark by mark." - Jeremy Raulinaitis---'Fading Me Away'

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
3 posted 2001-02-12 02:55 PM


Good job on this, sometimes it wasn't clear to me, but I still like it.

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
4 posted 2001-02-12 06:01 PM


lovely sentiments
very sad poem
go ahead, it doesn't hurt to cry
hope things do work out for you
thanks for the read

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR



Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-02-12 07:01 PM


Very nicely done here.....I liked this a lot jytree.....



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Tears of Glass
Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 182
Physically? VA.... Mentally? I'm not quite sure
6 posted 2001-02-16 10:33 AM


This one is awesome.. Good job.

*Jennifer

"My nightmare isn't fearing what I dream... It's waking up, knowing what I'll see."

Greeneyes617
Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329
Arkansas
7 posted 2001-02-16 03:45 PM


Good job.

[This message has been edited by Greeneyes617 (edited 02-17-2001).]

Starr
Member
since 2001-02-08
Posts 100

8 posted 2001-02-16 06:54 PM


I like this poem.... sad .... but to my taste... Can't wait to see more..
Angel in Flight
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381

9 posted 2001-02-17 09:16 PM


Very emotional poem almost brought me to tears. It reminded me of two very old sayings... It is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all. And also. If you love someone let them go, and if they come back to you it was truly ment to be. I Am adding this to my library. Wonderful poem and keep posting.

Life is like a storm, it passes you by without even knowing it~Amanda

jytree
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336
omaha ark usa
10 posted 2001-02-17 11:29 PM


thanks angel that put a smile on my face to know my poem made it into your libary

Lead me not into temptation,
I can find the way there mysel



Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Broken Valenetine

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary