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Teen Poetry #4
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Senryu
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Senryu |
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Hardkore Junior Member
since 2001-01-31
Posts 33San DIego, California |
Energy flows through my veins My eyes decieved by the lies Blood is all I see Passion fuels my love Passion becomes consumed by my love Without my love I become passionless |
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| © Copyright 2001 Garrett Megaw - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
It's nice to see you expressing interest in Senryu. For future reference, the format is 5-7-5 sylliblicly. Not 7-7-5. Nonetheless, this was an interesting one. I, myself, did a very similar one earlier in my life. Try finding a one-syll word synonymous with "energy." Keep writing Senryu. -Allan We used to hate people, now we just make fun of them. It's more effective that way. --KMFDM |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Not the proper senryu form, as allan said, but it's still a great piece of poetry. "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I see you have the creativity to write senryus. Allan has already explained how senryus consist of. great write I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nicely done......not proper format, but DEFY!!!!!!! Be a rebel!!!! Let's call everything senryus!!! haha....no but seriously.....nice job on it.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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