navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Mother and Son
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic Mother and Son Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo

0 posted 2001-02-05 10:41 PM


OK, I had no inspiration to write which is a good thing because it means things are great with me. However, something triggered here and as a result, here is this poem. Judge as harshly as you want.

In an enclosure she cries,
Pondering life and why it is.
Why that its beauty is driven away,
Into a cloud of total despair.
He had caused so much pain,
Spread his destruction.
Marvelled at his work of horror,
That the humans had to endure.

Her weakness to her children,
Made her vulnerable to his terror.
The carefree nature which she once had,
Was shattered into emotions of hopelessness.
He danced and sang,
At the devious ways of his life.
Not noticing that in each minuscule action,
A world was crumbling beneath his eyes.

She cannot call out,
As the pattern of decay must be carried out.
Graciously she bowed to the pain,
And let it engulf her whole.
He blames the demons inside,
Says he is a pupil to this destruction.
He is never to blame for what he does,
After all, the voices make him do it.

She is dying on the inside,
For once she is a subject of misery.
Only hoping that the clash with him,
Would soon be at an end.
He is a slave to psychosis,
His social attitude mangled.
Drenched in his scent of havoc,
The rewards of death are reaped.

~AF~


"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."
Buddha



[This message has been edited by anonymousfemale (edited 02-05-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Elizabeth Johnson - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2001-02-05 10:49 PM


Nicely done here........it's a very sad poem.Hope all is well!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
2 posted 2001-02-06 12:07 PM


Good poem, and yes, very sad.
A slave to psychosis.  Well worded.
Best of luck to you, and you know where to find me.
-Allan

We used to hate people, now we just make fun of them. It's more effective that way. --KMFDM

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
3 posted 2001-02-06 01:55 AM


There was a lot of good wordage here. I bet some rhyme would really amplify this piece, thanks for sharing.

Jeremy


"I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. -William Faulkner (Noble Prize Speech.)

katherine
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Canberra Australia
4 posted 2001-02-06 02:16 AM


this is really good!! is everything ok?
keep it up even if you are a victorian.

~kate~

LucidityNow
Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 118
Canada
5 posted 2001-02-06 02:27 AM


Wow this is great. For some reason my first impression was the mother, is the mother of hitler. Then I read the poem over again with that in mind, and it made perfect sense. I know you did not intend that to be, but I really enjoyed getting that much out of the poem.
anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
6 posted 2001-02-06 03:36 AM


Thanks everyone.

Dopey: All is well at the moment. I give it a few hours before the storm clouds come in again.

Allan: Thankyou.  

Jeremy: I never actually thought of actually putting a bit of rhyme into it. I'll see what I can come up with and post the finished copy for you.

Kate: Even if I am a Victorian? Hmphf..I am very grateful that I don't live in Canberra thankyou very much..lol.

Lucidity: That was not my overall intention however, you could probably compare the son to hitler in some of his actions. You just opened my eyes to my own poem. Thankyou.



"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."
Buddha



[This message has been edited by anonymousfemale (edited 02-06-2001).]

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2001-02-06 06:12 PM


I'm lost....Are you talking about a husband who beats her wife and the wife can't leave cause of the children? please explain a bit

thanks



I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR



anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
8 posted 2001-02-06 09:16 PM


Acire: This is about how a son torments the mother through his actions and the mother has become so weak that she can longer keep fighting against him.

~AF~

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."
Buddha


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Mother and Son

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary