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Teen Poetry #4
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Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2001-02-04 02:47 PM



Why do you not love me?
Why do you take me for granted?
Why do you use me?
Why do you abuse me?

You'll never miss your water,
'Till you well runs dry.
You'll never miss me,
'Till I say goodbye.

Why do you starve me?
Why do you lie to me?
Why do you ignore me?
Why do you not listen?

How can you just stare?
How can you just not care?
How long has it been since you held me tight?
How can you be glad to be out of my sight?
How?...... Why?...


[This message has been edited by Spine Grinder (edited 02-04-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Staci Weidner - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-02-04 03:04 PM


Nice.  It really displays a lot of frustration and confusion.  Sometimes we are just like this though, we tend to ignore others or mistreat them.  Good thoughts herein.
Welcome to Passions.  Enjoy your stay, I look forward to reading more from you.
-Allan


We used to hate people, now we just make fun of them. It's more effective that way. --KMFDM

the day i tried to live
Junior Member
since 2001-02-03
Posts 27
the seventh circle
2 posted 2001-02-04 03:09 PM


i particularly like the second stanza... not a huge fan of the unanswered question format, but it does present interesting possiblities within a poem... you might consider attempting you answer the questions you pose here in another poem where you explore your own feelings about the way this person has scorned you... i would certainly be interested to see such a work...
Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
3 posted 2001-02-04 03:18 PM


Thanks for the replies and the welcomes  *s*
Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
4 posted 2001-02-04 04:03 PM


Welcome to passions. your going to like it here. your poem was full of raw emotion, very powerful. hope to see more.
regina

when i wish for you, i wish that could we lie side by side hearts entwined.

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
5 posted 2001-02-04 04:14 PM


Welcome to Passions  
I think this poem is good at getting it's message out, nice job on it.  I hope to see you around more


"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
6 posted 2001-02-04 04:57 PM


Thanks, I think I'll like it here.
Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2001-02-04 07:24 PM


WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!   It's nice to know that you have decided to join our of poets here in Passions for Poetry.  I hope you would feel as welcome as everyone else has when they first joined.  

p.s. pls check you email

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR



Angel in Flight
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381

8 posted 2001-02-04 08:26 PM


Wonderful first poem!!! It was great I love how you wrote this and presented it. I cant wait to see more from you. Keep posting and welcome to the family. I know you will love it here as much as I. We truly are friends within a family and I believe I can speak for us all when I say; We are happy you decided to join our family, and a wonderful addition you will make here. WElCOME once again, and i hope you enjoy your "long" stay!!!

Suit yourself~The most powerful phrase a person can ever say. Once you hear it you will never be the same.


Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
9 posted 2001-02-04 09:27 PM


Welcome to passions!
Your poem displays a sense of confusion and problems within the situation you are facing at the moment. Sorry this is happening to you, but this was a great read. Hope to read more from you in the near future!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
10 posted 2001-02-05 01:41 AM


Welcome to passions!!! I hope that you enjoy it here. Good poem. My attention caught to the second stanza. Thanks for sharing it. And I hope to see more by you!!!

People leave our lives as quickly as they come, but the ones that mean something leave footprints in our hearts.

~sugarpie313~
Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375
Maine, USA
11 posted 2001-02-06 08:28 PM


this was good. i'm not a fan of unanswered questions that much in poems either. you may wanna lighten up but hye for a first post not too shabby AT ALL!!!       so welcome, make yourself at home. me casa, es sue casa (or however you spell that. i never was good at spelling spanish!)

~*Valerie*~

*...Remember your roots, my friend they're right down below, because heroes come and heroes go...* - Creed

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