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Teen Poetry #4
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anomaly187
Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284
San Francisco,CA,US

0 posted 2001-02-03 10:57 PM


wasn't going to post a poem today but i had some free time to sit down and write a little..

Lock me up in a box
and send me into the ground
I'll drink whatever's
seeping
out of
me

Please cover me with a cloth
I wouldn't want to be seen
Lock me up with the flies
so they can
have a feast

Wouldn't know where i've been
my bones are starving to mean
something
that's so
pristine

Lock me up with the tools
where i can taste your
cold-hearted metal
plunging
into
me

Lick my fetal remains
when they are scraped clean
when you thought i would vanish
I was dug up
and forced right
into
you

Now i sleep in the sky
in your tight weakened prison
and i watch wherever you go
'cause in the end
when everythings been
said and done
I will find you
and i will be
born
again



"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro"



© Copyright 2001 Alexei - All Rights Reserved
the day i tried to live
Junior Member
since 2001-02-03
Posts 27
the seventh circle
1 posted 2001-02-03 11:04 PM


exquisitely disturbing... two thumbs and a severed toe up  
Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
2 posted 2001-02-03 11:05 PM


Wow!  I love it!
Very descriptive.  Lots of wonderful metaphors.
This is the second entry into my library.
Thanks for the read!
-Allan

We used to hate people, now we just make fun of them. It's more effective that way. --KMFDM

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-02-04 12:56 PM


VERY nicely done here ano.......I liked this a lot. You are king of DISTURBING poetry hahaha.....I liked it.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
4 posted 2001-02-04 10:54 AM


I love dark poetry. I read too much of this happy, prissy BS stuff. Thanks for widening my eyes! Your work is so very elegant.

-Jeremy

"I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. -William Faulkner (Noble Prize Speech.)

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
5 posted 2001-02-04 03:58 PM


I can't give any constructive criticizm to this.  It is perfect as it is.  You're very talented

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR



Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
6 posted 2001-02-04 04:09 PM


wow! your are very talented with dark poetry. for some reason i get abortion from this poem, but im not quiet sure. it was very dark and disturbing a good.
regina

when i wish for you, i wish that could we lie side by side hearts entwined.

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
7 posted 2001-02-05 12:38 PM


just wantwed to put it in my libary
regina


for those who say I'm their friend, u know me not well for if u did u would not stay around anymore to watch me fall away.

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