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Teen Poetry #4
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Look Away
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Look Away |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
before i get this started i am begging you to check out my previous poem entitled Apethetic..okok i'm done Everyday i step out to a open-wounded hideout in a distant weeping body across from you Babies aren't laughing and nobodies looking anymore Everybodies dying when we get ignored for trying once again And i look away from the tears that keep flowing down faces in the ruins of your dreams I look away for the machines that keep on running when they've been neglected and left to burn out in the rain and I hate the way In the charcoal-colored fields where there's nobody walking and there's nobody talking anymore and the sirens will blast you when they drive past your worn out children in the street So you keep on living on the smallest hope of dying and a fire's approaching all around you Don't turn to run no, just wait until your time to go In the end when everything goes away I will find the smallest one that is alive and I will feed it until it dies And I hate the way... "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" [This message has been edited by anomaly187 (edited 02-02-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Alexei - All Rights Reserved | |||
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Your last 2 poems have been feeding my curiosity You have written such strong words lately and your talent makes it jump out to the reader more I feel you're in troubling times right now maybe im just misinterpreting your poems I'm all ears whatever is going on thanks for sharing I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I want to know what has inspired this new style you are writing in. I like your words, they have always been filled with raw power. This poem is very good. Wonderful job!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Stop making me cry. No wait, I love crying. I love this. I really do. It describes perfectly the world in my head and the world that I face....the rotten, careless, hateful world that kills our dreams and leaves us to die... "Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy." (Nora Ephron) |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I love the last few lines. "And i will feed it until it dies." Shows persistence and despair all at once. Great job. Keep it up. We used to hate people, now we just make fun of them. It's more effective that way. --KMFDM |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
YES, YES, YES!!! I love this dark eerie poetry! Your work is absolutely enjoyable. You've just provided inspiration for my next poem for sure. KEEP IT UP! -Jeremy |
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