»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
no plowing of the unplowed roads
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
no plowing of the unplowed roads |
|
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people 
|
Hey everyone (well, everyone that reads this)!!! Thanks for checking out my first post started on the new forums. I know I have been neglecting this place for a week or two now, I've been busy with my real world life (which gets more interesting everyday: life as a teen is truly fun  ). I hope that I find time to get on here and enjoy all of your poems again soon, but for now, here's one of my offerings...no plowing of the unplowed roads bare trees line the unplowed road and I doubt the plow comes soon, sometimes the workers just slack off, they’ll be here tomorrow around noon. working to shovel the sidewalk, I’m amused watching the neighbor kids making snowballs, distracted from their project, now half a snowman. the kids ignore them but I hear their mother’s calls, reminding me of my own winter wonderland, hot cocoa from mom after hours in the snow, ice-skating, sledding, and snow igloo building, I remember this one time I started to go... Yup, that's it. that's the end. Now please, elaborate a while on what you think, how it made you feel, anything it reminds you of, anything that sucks, anything that's cool. Please!  (oh yeah, I like the new smilies)"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Lakewalker - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Ok. I cannot relate to this. Haven't been around snow in many years. However, Florida occasionally gets cold... so hot cocoa is good. Well, nice one, it's cute.  xoxo Jenn "I'm a big, big, girl, in a big, big world, it's not a big, big thing if you leave me, but I do feel, that I will miss you much..." Emilia |
||
|
Greeneyes617 Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329Arkansas |
HEY WELCOME BACK! This was really cool. I like it.  THIS are soooooooooooooooo cool! |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Hey Lake ... you've gotta be Canadian, LOL!  If not ... you've described it up here beautifully .. well done! Best wishes, /Kit |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
wonderful poem Lake vivid imagery and suttle narration I do feel though that you cut us off a bit in the end I don't know, probably it's just because i wanted the poem to keep going thanks for the read I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
||
|
anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
i think i want to say i really liked this but also like acire it ended too shortly..other than that a great poem by a talented poet.. great work! "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Thank you everyone for the great feedback you're giving me. Kit, it's Michigan and my roads do usually get plowed (usually ), but that part had somewhat of a deeper meaning that I tried to put in it. I don't know if anyone will catch it though. Anyway, thank you again for being honest, maybe someday I'll come back to this one and add some more, maybe not. Well, it's off to go play in the snow "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
"it's good and keep it up" Anyway......Snow? No i do not relate to this, THANK THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway........I liked it....not your best, but still a good poem to post up. A run read if anything. Ummmmmm......yea but snow is just now my thing......Puerto Rico.....90 degrees....and a lot of coca-cola.......it's my paradise!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Yes, ditto to what Kit said. lol This is a great poem, Lake! I love what you did here. I remember those days myself, although vividly. Thanks for the great read. -Allan We used to hate people, now we just make fun of them. It's more effective that way. --KMFDM |
||
|
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
Lake, I gotta say you picked a real intriguing topic. I thought your words were very desriptive and they fit well. I think you can build the ending a lot better though, it kind of faded off at the end. I also love writing about seasons... whether winter or summer. Nice job bro. -Jeremy "I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. -William Faulkner (Noble Prize Speech.) |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Thank you again everyone, and Dopey, snow is awesome "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
