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Teen Poetry #4
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i say this goodbye with my last breath (please read)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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i say this goodbye with my last breath (please read) |
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litle_krazy_poet Member
since 2001-01-17
Posts 71 |
I'm the lone self hiding in the dark waiting for my ship soon it will embark to take me to the world of the no name man that is the final journey the waiting i can't stand i stand up as the ship arrives the grass beneath me every step it dies i think of my life all the troubles i had just a hand full of good memories not a one i really had for all through my life i was not known i hid myself my face not shown as i step on the ship i find my dark spot just like in life my mind is shot and as i did in life i will do in death i say this goodbye with my last breath somethings need poems and then there are thoes that are just for fun [This message has been edited by litle_krazy_poet (edited 02-02-2001).] |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
Where are you going? I loved this poem, you used great words. Im glad my eyes read this even thought its 1am.  -Jeremy Raulinaitis "I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. -William Faulkner (Noble Prize Speech.) |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
If this poem means what I think it means, I suggest that you get off of the ship immediately. This is not the ship you want to embark on. In a sense you entire life is like a voyage on a ship. Consider Star Trek. Do the characters give up when life gets tough? No, they fight onward. I hope this helps. |
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Stephanya Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 63Berkshire County~USA~ |
Yeah, where ARE you going? It seems as though you are giving up/running away from something, rather then fixing whatever is wrong, that is, in the poem. Let us know (:*stephani*:)A true friend will always stay a friend whether or not you feel as though the friendship or relationship is about to end*XOXOpsst... |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
ummm... The way I read it is the ship represents death... I could be way off. But it's like your just waiting to die. Which I know the feeling of. I just hope you can can realize that even though it is inevitable that your boat will come, there is no point in waiting for it. Again if this isn't even close to what you meant, disregard every thing I said, and just let me say nice poem. I enjoyed it. Jason To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese [This message has been edited by IsGona (edited 02-02-2001).] |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Great poem. Bon voyage. ~_^ -Allan We used to hate people, now we just make fun of them. It's more effective that way. --KMFDM |
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sweetstuff101 Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375OK, USA |
Great poem!! It flowed well, I luv it! I hope things are looking better for you, and if they aren't I hope they do soon. Well....great job on this one, keep it up! Luv Always, ~*~P*R*I*S*C*I*L*L*A~*~ How come it is so easy for a person to say "I hate you," but it is so difficult for someone to say "I love you" and really mean it???? |
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litle_krazy_poet Member
since 2001-01-17
Posts 71 |
the ship is not tangible it ia a metafor meaning death Jason: what you said is right you go the on the dot I'm not going anywhere if you really read and looked at the poem you will see the in the last four lines is says: and so in life i do in death i say good bye with my last breath no i'm not saying that i'm already but in the poem it goes from now till death looking in to the future well i hope that helps you all somethings need poems and then there are thoes that are just for fun |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
your poem was beautiful. check your icq. regina when i wish for you, i wish that could we lie side by side hearts entwined. |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Very good poem. I know the feeling of being scared of death, yet kind of waiting for it. Hope you feel better. xoxo Jenn "I'm a big, big, girl, in a big, big world, it's not a big, big thing if you leave me, but I do feel, that I will miss you much..." Emilia |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
I was a littel confused to about where you were going but im glad that you cleared that up for everyone! I thought this was a great poem...Keep em comin! |
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Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
Simply marvelous poem!!! Keep up the great work, and thank you for sharing this with all of us. ~"Amanda"~ What comes with love are tears of pain. What comes with hate are brighter days~ Amanda |
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branden726
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
å loving poem i must say. i love this a lot and it has so much meaning keep it up "i just love when you bring your whole crew because its just a bigger piece of cake for me to chew threw" |
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the day i tried to live Junior Member
since 2001-02-03
Posts 27the seventh circle |
come dream faeries and take me away, into the land of forever... not exactly an upbeat work, but i like it... i cannot, however, accept any view of death that sheds it in such a dim light... death is not seen in a funeral pyre or a mist-veiled ship, but rather should be seen in the light of the goodness of the deceased person's heart -- for as is the heart, so it is in death... |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wonderful job on this.....but yea don't embark on this journey......and yea.....death.......it's unknown...so just be careful with what you do.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I understood the meaning of this before I got to your explaination. You did a really good job of writing this poem out! "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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