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Teen Poetry #4
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Hardkore
Junior Member
since 2001-01-31
Posts 33
San DIego, California

0 posted 2001-02-01 09:32 PM


Hopeless Love

Oblivious to my thoughts
Never known, the contents of my heart
Just a smile to you, so angelic to me
Hopeless is this love I shelter for you
Your thoughts of me no more than a friend
The chances that you feel the same die every day
To end this hopeless love all I must do is confess
But with this simplicity comes the fear of not loving at all
Hopeless is this love I shelter for you


Passion fuels my love
Passion becomes consumed by my love
Without my love I become passionless


© Copyright 2001 Garrett Megaw - All Rights Reserved
anomaly187
Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284
San Francisco,CA,US
1 posted 2001-02-01 09:33 PM


i really love how you wrote this..
and the ending wraps it up beautifully..
great work on this one!

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro"



Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
2 posted 2001-02-01 09:34 PM


Great poem, man.  Seems you are in a tough spot.
Just keep writing it all down, and good luck with your hopeless love.
-Allan

We used to hate people, now we just make fun of them. It's more effective that way. --KMFDM

Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
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Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-02-01 09:34 PM


Double post?  how did THAT happen?  So~rry!

[This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 02-01-2001).]

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-02-01 09:54 PM


Wonderful job on this one......kinda sad. I liked it though......flowed for me.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Alwye
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Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
5 posted 2001-02-01 10:06 PM


It's a sad thing to love someone who doesn't feel the same for you.  Well written and emotional piece, keep up the good work!

*Krista Knutson*

I'm a slow dying flower
In a frost-killing hour
The sweet turning sour and untouchable...
-Natalie Merchant

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-02-02 09:55 AM


What abeautiful way of penning your thoughts.  In the end though, nothing is gonna happen if you don't say a word about it to this person.  Remember though, timing is very important, and don't push things right now if you feel it's not right.  Follow your heart.  thanks for sharing again

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR



Jenn Cirrincione
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since 2000-07-02
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Fl
7 posted 2001-02-02 07:58 PM


Ok... constructive.... I understand your pain. The situation sucks so badly. But as for the poem, it's short, simple and gets your point across. I liked it.  
xoxo
Jenn

"I'm a big, big, girl, in a big, big world, it's not a big, big thing if you leave me, but I do feel, that I will miss you much..." Emilia



fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

8 posted 2001-02-02 09:20 PM


Good poem here.  If I could offer any criticism, it would be that you ought to add more punctuation to this poem.  Especially periods.

Other than that, however, I think this is a very good poem.  I hope that you are able to move on from this problem.

katherine
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Canberra Australia
9 posted 2001-02-02 09:23 PM


Well done. it's really good. i lke the flow.
good luck with it all.

~katherine~

xShUgArHiGhx
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since 2000-09-26
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tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
10 posted 2001-02-03 10:00 AM


This is a horrible feeling but such a beautiful poem.
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