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~unwanted~
New Member

since 2000-11-23

Posts 7
²hê££

0 posted 2001-01-31 10:03 PM

You said we'd always be together,
And nothing could tear us apart.
You said you knew you loved me,
You could feel it in your heart.
You promised you'd love me forever,
And love doesn't change overnite.
You said you cherished each minute together,
Every moment holding me tight.

You claimed you'd do anything for me,
There was nothing you wouldn't do.
You said if we kept no secrets,
There wasn't anything we couldn't get through.

You told me i was beautiful,
And i was perfect in everyway.
You said that i was always on your mind,
You thought about me each and everyday.

You said you felt special when we were close,
like all your worries had disappeared.
You claimed that you'd want me always,
Us being apart, you greatly feared.

But here i am broken, torn... all alone,
There's emptiness where you stood by my side.
That means many promises were broken,
I guess that means... you lied.

£ove is blind..
And it will take over you mind...
What you think is love is truley not...
You need to elevate and find.~Eve~

jeremydraul
Senior Member

since 2000-08-01

Posts 1118
State of Despair

1 posted 2001-01-31 10:10 PM

nice progression in this piece
very well written in form and rhytm
glad i read it!

-JDR

"zzzIzzzAMzzzDREADEDLIVERzzz"

Stephanya
Member

since 2000-11-03

Posts 63
Berkshire County~USA~

2 posted 2001-01-31 10:13 PM

Great wording

If this is a "true story" I'm ver sorry for pain. i've been there, done that, and I'm still alive, and have found new love. It's very hard at first, but your days will always get better. Keep your chin up, and keep writing to express you emotions. Good Job

(:*stephani*:)A true friend will always stay a friend whether or not you feel as though the friendship or relationship is about to end*

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-02-01 02:04 PM

This was really great. I love how you worded things here. The ending was perfect.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

4 posted 2001-02-01 03:47 PM

I feel real bad for you right now. Your poems just shows us how much hurt you're going thru right now. I know you'll get thru this trying time, so don't ever give up. keep you head up

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

Angel Bee
Member

since 2001-01-30

Posts 176
Virginia

5 posted 2001-02-01 04:40 PM

Great poem. It is something that I would of written a while back when my boyfriend and I broke up. It is EXACTLY the same situation that I was in. I promise the pain goes away. Keep writing.

MidnightMaverick
Junior Member

since 2001-01-15

Posts 35
Duluth, MN, USA

6 posted 2001-02-01 05:42 PM

Great work here. I enjoyed it. You've displayed your emotions very well in this piece. Looking forward to reading more of your work.

-Maverick

luvnkris
Member

since 2000-08-31

Posts 144
Perth, Australia

7 posted 2001-02-01 09:24 PM

that was really good!
very sad though, i'm sorry that happened!
don't worry though, it'll get better, you'll find someone who'll make everything worthwhile!
Luv Jo
xoxo

* never live a second without being grateful for all you have around you*

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