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Teen Poetry #4
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The seconds fall...
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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The seconds fall... |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
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Seconds fall, not as grains of sand, but as paint of Dali’s “Soft Watches” onto your hand and turn to roaches, and quickly scatter. What does it matter? A star gives light, then fades, then disappears... The bulb on the ceiling can’t wait to bloom and spill its tears... so, get the broom... Check out my poetry here: http://www.unknownpoets.com/db/authors/master |
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| © Copyright 2001 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Not a bad poem. I like the solution proposed in the last line... "get the broom" can be applied to a large variety of situations. Nice work, Master.  ~Allan Stupidity makes the world go around...and people like us laugh. ~~Elizabeth, to Allan |
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DreadedLiver Member
since 2001-01-23
Posts 56Alter, Ego |
wow beautiful ending def one of ur good ones..nice job bro, a lot of good thoughts here JR "The *bump for jeremydraul's work, hahaha!!" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wonderful poem. I thought it worked well. The sudden ryhme in the middle shocked me cuz the rest of the poem wasn't written like that, so it did have an effect there. Great job in this.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I'd like some help here Master What exactly is the point of the poem? I can't seems to figure it out thanks in advance "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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